Shattered Grace (Rough Jesters MC Book 9) Page 13

  “I hate you,” I said, my throat clogged with emotion. “Don’t ever try to contact me again.”

  “Jill,” he started, but I was already yanking the door open and exiting the apartment before he could see the tears in my eyes. He had screwed me over, destroyed my only chance at getting my life back, not to mention the broken heart he had left me with.

  I couldn’t stand to look at him.

  ***

  Twenty-four hours later I was home.

  I opened the door to my apartment, wrinkling my nose against the smell of something rotten that was heavy in the air. Probably something I forgot to take out before I left.

  Shutting the door behind me, I dropped my suitcase on the floor and my laptop bag on the counter, stripping off my clothes as I walked through the small apartment. I was glad to be home, glad to be back in an area that I knew, surrounded by my own stuff.

  But unfortunately, I was coming back empty-handed.

  Yanking off my leggings, I walked into the bathroom and pulled off my undergarments as I started the hot shower water. I felt dirty, my muscles all knotted up from the trip home and from the tension that had seemed to settle in my body.

  After leaving Keith’s apartment, I had cried all the way back to the motel, draining the bottle of wine that I had left before I realized that without the information and something to back it up, I was screwed.

  I was wasting my time in Castillo. There was nothing left for me there.

  So, I had packed my bags and checked out, throwing them in the rental car that I would drive to the airport and head home. While I could have easily driven the six hours home, I decided that if I was going down, I would splurge a little and be home in an hour instead.

  The plane ride had been over with before I could actually enjoy it and I caught an Uber home, glad to see the crummy apartment building once more.

  My time in Castillo was over with.

  Stepping under the warm stream of water, I pressed my forehead to the shower stall in front of me, allowing it to run down my back and mingle with the tears that were streaming down my face.

  I hated how I felt.

  I hated that Keith had fucked me over.

  I hated that I felt literally worthless as a person, as a journalist.

  I hated that I had put myself in this situation and come out a loser like I had with Julian. Keith was right. It had taken me some time to realize that I was using this story to try and make up for what Julian had done for me and I had been willing to do just about anything for it.

  But that didn’t stop the fact that there was something there. There was a story waiting to be told.

  I had just failed to realize that I couldn’t trust anyone while I was writing the story.

  On the plane, I had tried to write down as much as I could remember but even looking at the words made me cringe. Sure, I could put it on the website, but without concrete evidence, it screamed conspiracy.

  Which meant I was back at square one.

  Banging my fist against the shower stall, I slid down into the bottom of the stall, pulling my legs against my chest as the warm water continued to stream overhead. I had nothing. I was nowhere close to becoming the journalist I was destined to be.

  And now, I had a broken heart because I had trusted the one person I thought would never hurt me and he had done nothing but stab me in the heart repeatedly. I wanted to hurt him somehow so he knew how it felt, but there was nothing I could do.

  Keith had won.

  Chapter 22

  Wires

  She was gone.

  I stepped out of the motel office and walked back to my car, slamming my hand against the top before I climbed in.

  Jill was gone. I wanted to pretend that I was surprised that she would give up that easily, but Sabs had pretty much made sure she didn’t have anything left to even follow up on. There had been no reason for her to stay.

  And it was all my fucking fault.

  “Shit,” I swore as I turned the engine over and pulled out of the parking lot. I hated myself for what I had done to Jill. I had invaded her privacy, taken her hard work from her, and left her with nothing.

  Hell, I hadn’t even apologized.

  No wonder she ran. I would have too.

  Now, I was suffering. After she had stormed out of my apartment, I had thought about going after her, to make her see reason, but in the end, decided we both needed our space. Then I had gotten caught up on a job where Chains needed my IT help. And even though Jill hadn’t been far from my mind, it took me more than twelve hours to get to the motel.

  Only to find her gone.

  While I knew what we had done was the right thing for the club, it had cost me my chance at a happily ever after with Jill. Now she would likely never speak to me again and my damn chest ached at that possibility. While everyone in the club would have their loved one to go home to, I went home to an empty apartment that smelled of the woman I loved.

  The woman I had destroyed.

  I didn’t like myself right now.

  Of course, we had told Chains what had happened and what we had done to protect the club. He had been grateful, telling us that we couldn’t allow anyone to break this story without our hands in it as well and that Voodoo was still on board to go against his former employer—as in the American government—if it meant bringing down the cartel and attempting to clear our names.

  Our names. That included me and Sabs. If the club went down, we would be pulled in as well and if the government had someone that was a genius with computers like we were, it wouldn’t be hard to trace our digital scent to know we had done some illegal shit as well.

  I didn’t know how much time that carried in prison, but it was more than I wanted to be in, that was for sure.

  That was what Jill didn’t understand. She would have her justice, her fame back, but ruin a lot of lives, including my own, in the process.

  If only she had trusted me! She was right. I had been feeding her information slowly, but for damn good reason. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust her; it was because I didn’t want her to run off like she had and try to figure it out herself.

  I should have known better.

  Driving up to the clubhouse, I parked the car and met Chains on the stairs outside of the building, his hands in his pockets. “Wires,” he stated, halting me. “Thanks again for what you did to that journalist’s computer.”

  “No problem, boss” I muttered, not really wanting the praise or to even talk about it any longer.

  He eyed me, something flickering in his depths. “Well hell, man, you should have told me.”

  “Told you what?”

  “That you were in love with her,” he answered, a knowing smile on his face.

  I frowned. “I’m not in love with her.”

  Chains laughed. “Don’t lie to me, son. I know what the look of love is. Hell, I’ve seen it enough around here recently. I guess we fucked this up for you, huh?”

  “Just a little,” I admitted with a shrug. “It wasn’t meant to be.”

  Chains reached out and clamped his hand down on my shoulder. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Life sucks sometimes.”

  I couldn’t help but agree to that. Jill was never meant to be mine, never meant to be part of my life. We were on opposite ends of the spectrum and I couldn’t ever have had her around the club without having to worry about how she was looking for her next big story.

  Yeah, it fucking sucked.

  “Hang in there,” Chains said as he released my shoulder and continued on his way.

  I walked inside and found Sabrina in our workroom, seated at her computer. The moment she saw me, she jumped up and wrapped me in a hug. “She wasn’t there, was she?”

  I didn’t return her embrace, feeling awkward that she could read me so well. “No. She was already gone.”

  Sabrina pulled back, worry reflecting in her gaze. “I’m so sorry, Keith, I really am. But what else were we supposed to do?”

>   I stalked to my chair, dropping into it. “It doesn’t matter anymore, all right? She’s gone and the club is safe. That’s all that matters.”

  Sabrina sat next to me, biting her lower lip. “But you are miserable, and I would imagine Jill is the same way.”

  Turning to my screen, I moved my mouse to get it to light up. “Just drop it, Sabs. All right? I just want to get shit done now.”

  Sabrina was silent for a minute, but I could feel her eyes on me, watching my every move. Great, just great. Now I was going to have a woman fussing over me and not even the woman I wanted fussing over me.

  “What if I told you that it wasn’t all lost, that you could control the information still?”

  I looked over at her. “What are you talking about?”

  She reached into her pocket, pulling out a thumb drive. “I keep what I steal.”

  Shocked, I stared at the small drive. “Is that?”

  She grinned. “Everything on her hard drive. I wanted to know how close to the truth she got. I’ve looked at it. The girl has some talent and she was really starting to piece some things together.”

  Swallowing hard, I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. She’s never gonna talk to me again.”

  Sabrina laughed, wagging the drive at me. “This is her work. I think she will listen to what you have to say, Keith.”

  Did I dare go after her? A few clicks and I could find her address, locate her apartment, and beg for her forgiveness.

  Was I that type of guy?

  “Do you love her, Keith?” Sabs asked softly. “Because if you do, you need to fight for her. Forget about the club or what she’s trying to do to us. I was wrong. I don’t want you to be miserable for the sake of the club. The club doesn’t warm your bed at night.”

  I thought about what Chains had just said to me, how he had pretty much apologized for ruining my relationship with Jill, and now my best friend was telling me to go after her as well. “What if she refused to see me?”

  A smile crossed Sabrina’s face. “I doubt that very much. If she looks anything like you do right now, she will be happy to see you. Well, after she’s done clawing your fucking eyes out.”

  I snatched the drive out of her fingers, tucking it into my vest pocket. “What should I do?”

  “Grovel, for one,” Sabrina laughed. “Just don’t lie to her. That is what drove you apart to begin with. Tell her that you have to work together to get this story out. Based on what I have seen on that drive, I think there’s a way to make it happen without giving up too much information. All Jill has to do is curb some of the facts for now and once Voodoo is done, then she can go full-blown with the story. We’ll even fill in the blank spaces for her.”

  I thought about Sabrina’s suggestion. She was right, though I wasn’t about to tell her that she was, that there were ways Jill could spin the story without giving away too much.

  First, though, I had to get her to listen to me.

  Turning toward my computer, I typed a few lines, pulling up Jill’s home address. It was about six hours away, an easy road trip that I could do tonight if I wanted to.

  “She will see you, Keith,” Sabrina answered as she caught onto my concern. “I promise.”

  “All right,” I said, pushing out of the chair. “I’ll give it a shot.” That was all I could do: ask for forgiveness and hope that Jill felt the same way I did.

  Otherwise, I was going to be one lonely fucker.

  ***

  I watched my best friend walk out of the room, his jaw set in determination to get his woman back. Honestly, I never thought I would see the day that Keith would fall for any woman, but I was so happy that he had found someone to be happy with.

  Even if she could even be considered the enemy right now.

  A happy sigh escaped me. It was all going to work out. I could feel it in my bones. I had a hunch that Jill felt the same way as Keith did and that once he showed her that drive, she would fall into his arms and they would forgive each other.

  Like a nicely wrapped romance novel.

  “Hey, you.”

  Smiling, I turned to see my husband in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. “Hey, yourself. I thought you were on a run.”

  Harrison stared back, a hint of a sexy grin on his face. “I missed you so much I got it done in half the time.”

  I returned his grin with one of my own, my mouth dry. I still couldn’t believe that he was all mine, the complete and total opposite of me but we still fit like two puzzle pieces. I would give up anything to make him happy and I knew he felt the same about me. “I just sent Keith after Jill.”

  His grin faded. “The journalist?”

  I nodded. “Boy’s in love. What was I supposed to do?”

  “Shit,” Harrison swore, pushing away from the doorway. “That’s not good.”

  “It is good,” I answered, rising from my chair. “For Keith and everyone else. She will listen to him and honestly, Harrison, I’ve never seen him so miserable as when he was in here earlier. He loves her.”

  He snagged me by the waist, pulling me against his hard body. My own body responded, and I tamped down the spiral of desire that swirled in my stomach from his closeness. God, I loved him so much. “Well, if he loves her half as much as I love you, then you did the right thing.”

  I touched the scruff on his face with my fingers. “I know I did the right thing. I have this second nature about me now.”

  His grin was ferocious. “Do you know what I want to do to you right now then?”

  Oh yeah. “I think I can figure it out.”

  Chapter 23

  Jill

  I held my mug in my hands, letting the warmth of the coffee inside warm my skin as I reread my words, frowning as I did so.

  It was a load of crap. There was nothing but my own conspiracy theories and not even close to what I needed to make it plausible.

  And sure as hell not good enough for any of the big-time papers to carry.

  Sighing, I put the cup down, thinking it was the wrong time to swear off alcohol. I had emptied all the bottles I had in my apartment after my breakdown in the shower, wanting to keep a clear head about me from now on. Alcohol had gotten me this broken heart and I wasn’t interested in having it happen again.

  So, coffee now was my best friend.

  My computer, not so much.

  I had written what I remembered from the notes I had hastily taken on the plane, trying to connect the dots between Brad Walker and Jon Branch. There wasn’t much; I wasn’t too proud to admit that. Brad Walker’s death was unusual given that he had been surrounded by club members at the time, but the self-defense strategy that they had carried out made sense.

  It was nearly ironclad.

  What wasn’t ironclad was Walker’s corruption and I had found tons on that outside of the comments from previous articles. That was a story in itself, but again, not enough to pull the heavyweights’ ears and catch their attention. How many corrupt good ol’ boys in public service were there anyway? It wasn’t exciting news, no matter how I spun the cartel piece.

  I just didn’t have enough information.

  So, I had abandoned it for a while and moved on to the Jon Branch angle. Finally, after a lot of digging, I had found out that he was in prison and the new chief of police had been the one to testify against him. He was untouchable though. I had already checked into that. No visitors, and no one had seen him in two years at least.

  But I could connect Alisha to her Jester husband, who could have had a hand with Branch’s disappearance.

  And without Walker dying, she wouldn’t have been given her current position.

  It was the best I could do. But even as I read the words, I felt like they were the words of an honest-to-god conspiracy theorist yelling about chemtrails.

  “Ugh,” I said, rubbing a hand over my face wearily. This was not the difficulty I thought I would have with this story. I might as well scratch the entire thing and find something else to sp
end my time on because I clearly was wasting it on this.

  I had done a lot of wasting time over the last month.

  Pushing out of the chair, I walked across the apartment and opened the sliding glass door, stepping out onto the balcony. The night was cool, but comfortably so, and I breathed in the air, finding myself not as heartbroken as I had been earlier.

  Correction, I was still heartbroken but handling it a little better.