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Or did I want him in my life forever?
Well right now I wanted to hit him again. How dare he think I would have kept a secret like this from him?
He was right, he didn’t really know me.
**
Two days later, I allowed the nurse to help me with my shirt, wincing when I raised my arm too high.
“Be careful,” she said, tugging the shirt down over my stomach. “Don’t stretch it too much for the next week and don’t lift anything too heavy. You need to let that wound heal and rest. You have a baby to take care of, too.”
“Thanks,” I said as she stepped back. Even after two days, I still couldn’t get used to the fact that I was pregnant.
“I will be right back with your discharge papers,” she said as she walked to the door.
I said nothing, moving around the bed to gather my things. My shoulder was unbelievably sore, and I still felt weak, but I was alive and that was what mattered.
“Oh, you’re already dressed! Good!”
I turned and found both Alice and Nat staring back at me from the doorway. “Um hey.”
“You look so good,” Nat said as she walked in the room. “Did you sleep last night?”
I nodded, lying to them both. I hadn’t slept at all. I wanted my bed where I could curl up under the covers and forget the world existed for a while. The past few days, Nat and Alice kept me company, bringing some of my things and talking nonstop.
No one had broached the subject of my pregnancy, though I was pretty sure they both knew.
“Good!” Nat said brightly as Alice set a bag on the bed, presumably for the cards and gifts that had been delivered over my stay here. Some were from the girls (and guys) at the Gallery, some from the Legion members.
But none were from Gary and that stung. He hadn’t come back since that day we’d argued, and I hadn’t breathed one word about him to any of my visitors, preferring to pretend like he didn’t exist for the moment. Inside, though, it was killing me, like he’d left all over again, and I was alone to pick up the pieces.
“So, you’re coming to stay with me and Fox,” Nat was saying, capturing my attention and bringing me back to the present.
“No I’m not.”
“Yes, you are,” she repeated, her hand on her hip. “You can’t go home by yourself. I mean, you almost died Becky.”
I grabbed up my pajamas, throwing them into the bag. “’Almost’ is the key word. I’m fine to go home. The doctor said so.”
“But you need help,” Alice chimed in, her ring catching my eye as she fluttered about the room. It was then sadness washed over me. They both had loving fiancés, were both pregnant and were enjoying lives that meant something. They didn’t know how lucky they were.
And I wasn’t about to rain on their happy parade by crashing at their place. “I’m fine, really.”
The two exchanged looks and I narrowed my gaze. “What?”
“Well,” Nat started out, her hands smoothing out the cover on the bed. “If you don’t come with us, then we’re supposed to take you to Gary’s.”
I exploded into laughter. “Yeah right. That’ll be a cold day in hell.”
“You know he nearly went crazy the night you were shot,” Alice said. “I’ve never seen anyone like that before.”
My heart lurched in my chest, but I tamped it down. I couldn’t deal with this right now. I had to figure out the rest of my life and how I was going to juggle the Gallery and a baby. Looking up at the two women, I gave them my best glare. “I’m going home and if anyone has a problem with it, they can come find me there.”
Nat stared at me for a minute before shrugging her shoulders. “Alright.”
I arched a brow. That was too easy. “No tricks?”
“No tricks,” she answered, giving me a smile. “I enjoy watching them suffer every now and again. After all, they like to put us through hell.”
I gave her a smile, though deep down I felt worse about the situation. When would my life be normal again?
An hour later, Nat and Alice helped me carry my things to the front door.
“Are you sure we can’t talk you out of this?” Nat asked as I fumbled with my keys.
I shook my head, my shoulder feeling like it was about to fall off. “I’m really, really tired and just want to sleep in my own bed tonight. But I appreciate you both bringing me home and all.”
Alice bit her lower lip. “I’ll come by and check on you tomorrow, okay? If there is anything you need...”
“I will call,” I finished for her, getting the key in the lock and turning it. Then I reached for my bag with my good arm. “Thanks again.”
“Good night,” they both called out as I walked into the dark house and pushed the door closed, letting out a slow breath. While I knew they had good intentions, I just wanted to be alone and wallow in my self-pity. I wasn’t one to have a bunch of girlfriends around, or any friends hovering for that matter. I preferred to handle my life myself. I didn’t want to worry about depending on others or fitting into a group just to make myself feel good.
And now I had to figure out how to become a mom, a parent to this precious baby growing inside me.
Pushing away from the door, I flipped on the lamp and dropped my bag on the couch, letting out a squeak of surprise when I saw the shadow in the doorway. “What are you doing here?”
Gary gave me a once over with those eyes of his. “It’s good to see you up and about.”
I stared at him, not believing he was in my house. I hadn’t seen him since that night I’d kicked him out of the hospital room.
Oh, but I had thought about him. Far too much. “Why are you here?”
He stepped toward me. “You can’t be alone. Someone is trying to kill you.”
“How do you know that they weren’t aiming for you?” I countered as he started toward me.
“Because,” he growled as I backed up until I was against the front door with nowhere else to go. “If they were, they had plenty of opportunity before I came back.”
His hand rested against the wood right above my head and I drew in a breath, his spicy scent assaulting my senses. I could see the dark flecks in his irises, his unshaven jaw peppered with blonde scruff. My stomach turned to liquid and I sighed inwardly. God, it had been too long.
“I can defend myself you know,” I forced out, my voice coming out in a whisper.
Gary reached up and cupped my cheek with his hand, instantly warming my skin. “I know, but that still isn’t enough. It’s my job to protect you, Beck. Let me help. Just for a little while.”
My resolve crumbled as I wrestled between two conflicting urges: pushing him away and pulling him closer. “Just a little while?”
His grin was slow and burning hot, searing into my body. “Well, depending on how long you want it, I guess.”
This was not the same Gary who had left three months ago. He had confidence, swagger, and likely everything I wouldn’t be able to resist.
And I wanted him.
I closed the distance between us, pressing my lips to his while wrapping my arms around his neck. He made a sound in the back of his throat and crushed me to him, his hands roaming over my back. White hot lust shot through my veins as I tasted him, our tongues meeting in a dangerous tango. My body craved him, my soul wanted to feel his love, that warmth he’d given me all those months ago.
This man, he was going to be the death of me.
“God,” he said as he broke our kiss, his lips trailing down my jaw, the side of my neck. “I’ve missed you so damn much.”
I closed my eyes and allowed myself to melt in his arms, tired of putting up a front. I wanted to be the weak one for once, to let someone else shoulder the burden.
His hand brushed my hurt shoulder and I winced, causing Gary to pause and step back. “I, hell, I’m sorry,” he said, putting his hands on his hips as if trying to give them something to do.
I looked down, the pain already lessening, and smiled, reaching o
ut to cup the bulge that was quite noticeable in the front of his jeans. “How much did you miss me?”
Gary groaned. “Shit, Beck, come on. Not fair.”
I squeezed him lightly. “Who says I play fair?”
His eyes darkened and heat burned in his gaze. “Tell me you want me.”
“I want you,” I said. There was no need to deny it, no need to pretend or play games.
“Good,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the door.
I couldn’t help but smile as he started down the hall, wondering if he had cased my house before I got home. My heart pounded against my chest, my blood thrumming through my veins at the anticipation of what we were going to do. This was what I wanted. I wanted to forget someone had shot me, that I was pregnant, and that Gary was now an enforcer.
Gary pulled me into my bedroom, and I pushed him onto the bed, climbing on top of him with ease as my fingers fumbled with his jeans. I didn’t want long, drawn out sex.
His cock sprang from behind his zipper and a flood of heat flushed through me. I stroked his silken skin.
“Careful,” he warned as I traced the veins. “It’s been a long time.”
“There wasn’t anyone else?” I asked. I couldn’t help it.
He gripped my hips and pulled me down on the bed, covering my body with his. “Hell no. There’s no one else but you Beck.” His corners of his lips turned up. “And I will have you, tonight.”
Chapter Seventeen
Gary
Her mouth parted and I knew I had won. I was glad she was feeling more like herself, some of the paleness gone from her face. Now the light was back in her eyes, and the fire there had my blood running rampant in my veins.
We both wanted this.
With a growl, I grasped her shorts and pulled them down over her hips, throwing them on the floor as I exposed her lower half to me. My cock jumped in response and I sank between her legs, filling her to the very core. Becky arched at my intrusion, her body squeezing me and nearly making me do the deed right then and there.
But I held on, staying still as she grew accustom to my weight.
Her eyes met mine and she grasped at me with her good arm. “Oh God.”
I smiled as my finger found the swollen nub between her folds, stroking it. I wanted her to fall apart with me inside of her, to feel her quiver from something I did to her.
And then, then I would do the same.
“Come for me, Beck,” I whispered, increasing the pressure. “Fall apart for me.”
She made a sound in the back of her throat and her hand gripped my arm, her nails digging into my skin.
“Let go,” I urged, picking up the pace. “For me.”
“Always for you,” she cried out, bucking against my hand.
I grimaced as my cock tried to act in return, impatient for its own release. Fuck, I was going to embarrass myself before we truly got started.
But it had been far too long.
Her orgasm fell over me and I rocked into her, frenzied in my attempts to keep up with her movements. I could feel the pressure, feel the need for release and knew I would be making it up to her before the night was over with.
With one of my hands, I forced Becky to look at me. “I love you,” I said, pumping into her.
Her lips parted but no sound came out and I let go, groaning as I pumped everything I had into her.
**
A while later, I groaned, rolling over into a mound of pillows. “Damn.”
“I second that,” Becky replied in a soft voice, pressing her body against mine.
I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, until her head was resting on my chest. This was what I’d hoped to have with her that night I’d returned. This was what I had been missing.
Lazily, I rubbed a hand down her back, squeezing her ass until she giggled and slapped her hand on my abdomen.
“Stop. Let me recover.”
“Your shoulder okay?” I asked, reality crashing into my foggy brain.
“It’s fine,” she answered, pulling up my shirt so she could run her fingers over my stomach.
I shivered against her touch, my hand sliding up to her hair and burying itself there. “So, you think we could start over again?”
She sighed, her fingers stilling. “We can never start over Gary. Too much has happened.”
“Well I know that,” I answered lightly. “But the hospital room, these last few days, I want to start over from them.”
“So, you believe me then?” She asked.
“Yeah, I do,” I answered, combing my fingers through her hair. After the initial shock wore off, I thought about Becky’s reaction to the pregnancy and realized she hadn’t known either. It’d been just as much of a surprise to her as well and hell, it was both of our faults we hadn’t taken the precautions to prevent this from happening. It wasn’t right for me to hold it against her.
But now that it was out in the open, I wanted to do more than just be the kid’s father. I wanted to be everything to both of them. I wanted to give her everything she’d dreamed of, and make sure she never felt alone again. I would be there for her.
“Tell me what happened, Gary,” she said after a moment, resuming her touch. “Tell me the truth.”
I blew out a breath, thinking of my last three months gone. “I killed people.” I’d been so caught up in my grief over Jack’s death and Jared’s disappearance, it became my natural inclination to maim and kill whoever could be involved. My fists, my knife, my gun, I’d used them all in the name of Jack’s revenge.
But now, looking back, I felt nothing but emptiness inside. Killing the Cazadores and anyone else we’d come in contact with hadn’t brought Jack back and nothing ever would. “I thought it would kill the hurt.”
Becky pressed a kiss to my chest before looking at me, understanding in her eyes. “I know. I’ve been hurting too.”
“I’m damn sorry for leaving you,” I answered, smoothing the hair out of her eyes. “I should have stayed.”
She surprised me by chuckling, rolling over until she lay next to me on her back. “Oh Gary, it wouldn’t have changed anything. We both had to do our own thing and I see that now.”
I rolled over and propped my head on my arm, my hand straying to her stomach to cup it. “But now we have a kid to raise and I won’t let you down, Beck. I’m gonna help you raise this baby.” I was going to marry her too, but it was too soon to throw that into the mix. First I would find Jared, then I would settle down with Becky, have a couple of kids and grow a beer belly. Being a Legion member would take a backseat in my life to her.
She looked at me, tears swimming in her eyes. “I don’t know what to do Gary.”
“Hey, hey,” I said, wiping away the stray tear. “We’ll figure it out, okay? I’ve never done this before either, but I promise you, we’ll figure it out together.”
She nodded and I gathered her up in my arms, pulling the comforter over us. I couldn’t stay, but these stolen moments outweighed anything else I had to do.
I wasn’t about to just walk out again. “Sleep.”
“You have to go,” she said, sighing against my chest.
I rested my chin on top of her head. “I’ve got an hour or two before that. Sleep, Beck.”
She snuggled against me and I held her tightly, glad she and I had found common ground for now.
We would figure out the rest later.
**
Three hours later, I stood back as Fox and Derrek hauled the bleeding man against the building. “Tell us what you know, or you’ll lose your teeth one by one.”
“I don’t know nothing!” he cried out, blood dribbling down his chin.
I sighed, wishing I was back in bed with Becky. When I’d left, she had barely rolled over, so deep in sleep she hadn’t even stirred when I kissed her forehead, nor when I’d carefully pushed the gold band on her thumb, a symbol she was mine. I’d been keeping it with me since before I’d left to hunt the Rebels, promi
sing myself I’d get back here to put it on her finger. It belonged to my grandfather who’d given it to my grandmother because he couldn’t afford a diamond ring. It was the most priceless thing I owned. I wanted her to know I was dead serious about our future.
But for now, I had work to do.