Tainted Desire Read online

  “I’ll see you later,” I said, brushing past her. I didn’t want to hear again how it was my job to ensure that Voodoo paid for what he did to the clubs. I was tired of being reminded of how that fell on my shoulders.

  And how they didn’t realize that I had seen Voodoo as a person in these last two months.

  He was still waiting where I had left him, leaning against the bike like he didn’t have a care in the world. “So?”

  “You aren’t welcome on club grounds,” I stated. “But they are going to help us find the girl.”

  “That’s positive, I guess,” Voodoo answered, smothering a yawn. “Damn, I’m tired.”

  I hesitated once more, feeling the pull of sleep in my own bones. He was still my mark, meaning I had to keep a close eye on him at all times.

  Great. “We can go to my apartment.”

  His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Your place?”

  “Listen,” I started. “I’m tired and we both need some sleep. That way I can ensure you don’t do anything stupid.”

  Voodoo chuckled, pushing away from the bike. “Then lead the way.”

  I climbed on the back, feeling like I was making a huge mistake. What other choice did I have? I had just been given a directive to ensure Voodoo’s death at the end of this thing. I couldn’t let him ride on without me and disappear, failing everyone. Widow Maker was counting on me. Elisa was counting on me.

  I just didn’t like the fact that they were counting on me to take his life.

  Chapter 6

  Voodoo

  I followed Siren up the stairs to her apartment, half expecting her to turn around and tell me this was a bad idea. I wouldn’t blame her if she did, but I was grateful that she was willing to let me crash on her couch for at least a few hours.

  I was fucking exhausted.

  Siren opened the door and stepped inside, the stale air hitting us full force. I shut the door behind me, placing my backpack on the counter. It was a small place, reminding me of the sterile apartment I had back in Virginia that I hadn’t seen in six months or so.

  I had forgotten what it looked like or what my life was like prior to taking this assignment. This had been the longest I had been away from home on an undercover assignment.

  Or had a vacation.

  Or had a night out not pretending to be Voodoo.

  “I don’t have any changes of clothes for you,” Siren was saying as she kicked off her boots. “But there’s towels in the bathroom in the hall and I think some hotel soap in there.”

  “Hey, thanks for this,” I said. “I know you didn’t have to, but I appreciate the ability to not have to stay in a hotel.”

  She turned and I could see the flicker of concern in her eyes. I knew it wasn’t for me, but rather for the chances she was taking in housing me, in partnering with me.

  And she sure as hell didn’t trust me. So, I decided to throw her an olive branch. Sticking out my hand, I tried an easy smile. “I’m Daniel.”

  Siren eyed my hand. “Why are you doing this?”

  “I want you to know you can trust me,” I stated. “If we are to work together, we have to trust each other. No one around here knows my true name.” There was a reason for that. I still had parents living in the country. I had a sister who was happily married with two cute kiddos. People I deceived could easily take my true identity and use it against me.

  She sucked in a breath and placed her hand in mine, the warmth of the skin-to-skin contact nearly making me groan. “Eileen.”

  Well, I hadn’t expected hers in return. I didn’t know what to say.

  Eileen dropped her hand. “Don’t expect anything else, Daniel. I’m taking a huge risk here. I hope you know that. I’m the only person that will come within ten feet of you and not want to shoot you right now. So, don’t take advantage of my generosity.”

  Oh no, I wanted to take advantage of something else right now. Instead, I stepped back. “Bathroom?”

  She pointed down the hall. “Second door to the left.”

  I grabbed my bag and headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. What a fucking day. I started the shower and started shucking my clothes, grimacing as weariness settled into my bones. I wasn’t long for the world in terms of sleep and being here, with Siren, no, Eileen, now I had a new worry.

  I wasn’t fucking stupid. She had been tailing me for one reason only and that was to end my life. Now I was in the wolf’s den, giving her unrestricted access to finish me off.

  But as I stepped under the stream of water, I knew she wouldn’t just yet. I didn’t know what Widow Maker or Chains had told her, but whatever it was, she would be waiting until we found the girl, if we found the girl, to kill me.

  I didn’t know how to take it. Yeah, I deserved it. Hell, I deserved it every time an innocent person was killed because of someone I was in association with. My conscience was heavy all the time.

  But I sure as hell didn’t want it to be her that pulled that trigger.

  Bowing my head, I allowed the water to run over my back before picking up the hotel-sized soap that was in the soap dish to start the lather. I hadn’t carried this much guilt around in a long time, not since my last few days in the service.

  I had gone into the army at the tender age of eighteen, doing three tours to Iraq before getting an opportunity to work with the U.S. government in a different stance. I had moved from military police to the CIA and immediately gone undercover within the first year of my career with them. I had done every type of undercover work, though working within the ranks of biker clubs had become my forte.

  And now it looked like it was going to be my downfall.

  I felt the water temperature change for a brief second, which could only mean that Eileen had chosen to take a shower as well. Damn, I didn’t want to think about her naked body under a stream of water, potentially thinking about me and what she was doing having me here.

  I also didn’t know if I preferred Eileen or Siren as her name either. I couldn’t believe she had shared it with me, sort of like a fragile olive branch that was on the verge of snapping.

  I slid my hand down my body and found my cock hard and aching, knowing that Eileen was the cause of it. There were times she had shown me more softness than I had anticipated.

  She was also the first person who had touched me in a manner that wasn’t businesslike in quite a long time. I could still feel her cheek pressed to my back, my constant worry that she might fall off the bike during that long ride forcing me to hold onto her arms with my free hand as much as I could.

  And then her hand in mine … damn, I wanted to pull her into my arms, to forget for a brief moment that I was a bastard in her eyes.

  My body tightened and I realized I had been stroking myself the entire time, the pressure starting to build. She was doing this to me.

  Closing my eyes, I imagined her hand instead of mine, my breaths coming out in short gasps as I stroked faster. She would kiss my neck, her long blonde hair curling around us as her ruby lips grazed the vein there. I would bury my face in her hair, breathing in her scent as she took me over the edge.

  Groaning, I let go, emptying my cock into the stream of the water before pressing my forehead to the cold tile of the shower. Where had that come from?

  I let go of a harsh breath. That would be the closest I came to Eileen. It was obvious she was going to keep me at arm’s length, and I couldn’t blame her.

  I just wanted someone to look at me like I wasn’t the bastard they all thought I was.

  A chuckle escaped me, and I picked up the bottle of shampoo, pouring a generous amount in my hand. That wasn’t going to happen. I had wronged one of their own and the clubs weren’t about to forget that. Eileen’s loyalty was with the club and mine was with their mortal enemy.

  Maybe it was time I got out. If I survived this and somehow escaped the barrel of Eileen’s gun, I would disappear, hand in my resignation, and move to some warm beach to live out a coastal life of fishing and boa
ting for the rest of my life.

  I had enough funds to do so.

  I would forget about this crushing weight in my chest, forget that I had a family, apart from an occasional email to let them know I was okay.

  I would vanish into the background and eventually, while I would still be hated by the Jesters and the Bitches, I would be free.

  No more lies, no more fake identities. I would be Daniel Culbertson.

  I finished my shower and climbed out, pulling on a pair of rolled-up gym shorts and T-shirt that were as clean as they could be given the two months on the road. After straightening up the bathroom, I walked out, listening to the sound of Eileen’s shower in the distance. I wanted to do something nice for her, something that would show that I appreciated her bringing me into her domain.

  What she was doing took guts and I hoped that she didn’t suffer with her club as a result.

  My stomach growled and an idea popped in my head. I would feed her. Surely after being gone for as long as she had, there was no food in this place. I would order a pizza for the both of us, give us a chance to step outside of the two people we thought we were.

  Reaching for my cell, I looked up a pizza delivery place. That’s what I would do for her.

  Chapter 8

  Siren

  I didn’t know what I was doing.

  Stepping out of the shower, I reached for the towel on the rack, rubbing myself briskly to get rid of the water droplets. The shower had been amazing, feeling so much better now that I was back in my own apartment, with my own things. After two months of living on the road, I was grateful that I had made it back home.

  But I hadn’t anticipated bringing my mark along for the ride. The minute that Daniel had gone into the guest bathroom, I had retreated to my own bedroom, shutting the door as my heart raced uncontrollably.

  I didn’t know why I had told him my real name. Siren had become as much as my name as the one I had been given at birth, and it was rare that I even used it anymore. Only the Hell’s Bitches council knew my real name.

  Well, them, and now the man I had been told to kill.

  Groaning, I pulled on the yoga pants and oversized sweatshirt I had pulled out of the closet, feeling more like myself than Siren, the badass biker who had been tracking a man she had been ordered to kill. Outside of the club, I was a homebody, enjoying comfortable clothes and a good strong glass of wine while curled up on the couch with a book. I didn’t like partying, nor did I like any of the other extracurricular activities that some of the club members got themselves into, like the strip clubs or the drug activity.

  And whenever possible, I headed to the beach, spending my time reminding myself of who I was and why I had joined the club to begin with. It was easy to get wrapped up in the club, to forget that you were your own individual person still.

  Some days I didn’t even know who I was and I sure as hell didn’t recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.

  Grabbing a hair tie, I twisted my wet hair up into a bun before finishing my toiletry, unsure of what I was going to say to Daniel.

  God, his name was Daniel. I wished he hadn’t told me. Now it was ten times more difficult for me to look at him as just a mark. My mind was racing with what his background was and whether he had any family that he hid from people like me.

  I knew a lot about him, but there was still so much to learn.

  I turned away from the mirror, disgusted with my train of thought. I didn’t care about Daniel. I didn’t want to know more about him. He was my mark, my mark! He had nearly thrown us all in jail and would have walked away without another thought had it not blown up in his face.

  He had tried to hurt my family and for that I could never forgive him.

  Giving myself one last look to ensure I was presentable, I walked out of the bedroom and down the hall, trying not to notice the pounding of my heart in my ears. Daniel was standing in the small kitchen as I entered the living room, a cup in his hand and a grin on his face.

  Oh boy. Dressed in regular clothing, he was far too good-looking for his own good! “I got us a pizza.”

  I looked at the box on the counter, every bad thought I had about him flying out of the window. He had ordered a pizza? “Why?” I blurted out.

  “Because I was hungry?” he offered up. “I got one of those deals with a soda as well. I hate to tell you, but there is nothing in your fridge.”

  “That’s because I have been tailing you for the last two months,” I grumbled, pushing aside any soft feelings for him. He had gotten a pizza. When was the last time a guy had done anything like that for me?

  Not in a long, long time.

  Daniel chuckled. “Well, I hope I have been entertaining for you.”

  “You are boring,” I answered, walking over to the counter. As much as I wanted to tell him to shove his pizza where the sun didn’t shine, I was starving.

  He cocked his head to the side. “Boring?”

  I nodded, opening the box. The smell of freshly cooked pepperoni pizza wafted up and I inhaled, the pizza-loving girl inside me squealing with excitement. I loved pizza. Of all the junk food he could have picked, this was the absolute best one. “You aren’t exciting at all. Trust me.”

  “Huh,” Daniel stated as I extracted a piece and took a bite. “I didn’t realize I was boring. I like to think of myself as some 007 Bond-type guy.”

  I chewed the pizza, the tangy flavors bursting on my tongue. “Maybe in your dreams. Thanks for the pizza.”

  “You’re welcome,” he answered, grinning. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

  The moment felt too comfortable. Suddenly we weren’t enemies, but had something of a budding friendship, a friendship I couldn’t afford. I polished off the slice, keeping my words to myself as I hunted down a cup in the cabinet and poured a healthy swallow of the soda, wishing I had something stronger.

  Daniel made me feel uncomfortable, but not in a creepy way. I could see him as I had the last few months, seated at a bar, carrying on a conversation and laughing with the person next to him. In those moments, it had been easy to forget that he was an undercover agent, my enemy.

  But as easy as it was to forget, the truth was still there. All we would have to do would be to bring him around the club and they would be quick to remind me of what he had done. Hadn’t Elisa tried to do that earlier? It had been her love that had nearly been extinguished, not mine. I couldn’t understand her pain, the worry she had gone through while Machine Gun had lain in that hospital bed, clinging to life.

  I swallowed the soda, placing the cup on the counter. Daniel had watched my every move and I wasn’t stupid to not see the intensity in his eyes, something I didn’t want to broach. “I’m going to bed.”

  “Want me to join you?” he teased as I started toward the hall. My traitorous body warmed at the thought, but I kept on going, retreating to the safety of my bedroom like the coward I was.

  It wasn’t until I was in bed, my body covered with my comforter and my hand curled under my pillow that I let my mind wander to what would have happened if I had taken Daniel up on his offer. Was he a guy who enjoyed long drawn-out sexual sessions or did he like to go at it fast and furious?

  Oh God, I couldn’t be thinking this way! Just because I had taken the guy in didn’t mean that I was going to sleep with him!

  I couldn’t, I wouldn’t. I was going to kill him in the end, not fall in love with him. If I didn’t kill him, someone else would. There was no doubt about it. Machine Gun wasn’t about to let Daniel get off scot-free.

  Which meant it was up to me to make it happen after we found the girl.

  But as my eyes fluttered closed, I couldn’t help but wish that he would up and disappear.

  Chapter 9

  Voodoo

  The next day, I felt much better, glad to wake up and see the sun rising on another day instead of not waking up at all. Though Eileen’s couch was lumpy, it was far better than the beds I had been sleeping on as of late.r />
  I still had my gun at my side all night. While I trusted Eileen to not be one of those people who would ambush an unarmed man while he slept, I did so out of habit.

  And to protect her. Once word got out that she was harboring me, there could be a small chance that someone would try to finish the job early.

  Now, she and I sat side by side, each with a police scanner blaring through our earpiece as we tried to find any word of the missing girl or what the cops were doing about it. I flipped through channels as far as Utah, hoping that we were wrong about the cartel being involved, but there was nothing.