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  I blazed my own trail now, without having to ask for permission to have a voice. Even if this club folded under in the first few months, I could still say I had tried. I was looking out for myself.

  “Ready?” Mama Bear announced over the rumble of the bikes, a light in her eyes I hadn’t seen before. She was excited and I realized I was as well.

  Far too excited. “Yeah. I’m ready. Let’s do this shit.”

  “Watch your back,” she said before slinging her arm over her head.

  I followed her out, letting my bike catch up with hers. I was doing this for me. Not for this club, not for my broken heart.

  This was for me.

  Chapter 13

  Rex

  I frowned, but followed the route that Corey was showing me. “You sure this is the only route? If we go that way, we will be out of the sight of the cops but deep in the desert. A shit ton of things can happen out there. Looks like there are a lot of places for ambushes to happen.”

  Corey chuckled as he flipped through the photos on his phone, taken by his drone just hours before. “Yeah but who would have the balls to hit a cartel run? Besides, we’ll have heavy security from our own crew and plenty of firepower to go around. I doubt there will be any issues whatsoever.”

  I straightened. “Yeah, that’s when you know you have grown cocky, too. There’s always a risk.” Other clubs were gunning for us, trying to knock us off our pedestal and take our place. It was the war of the better club out there.

  Not to mention the cartel would be watching our every move. Our strategy for these new runs would have to be perfection, planning for anything to go wrong. I could ill afford to have club members dying with every job. “Double the numbers,” I told him. “Make sure there’s at least one heavy gun in every group.”

  “Alright,” he answered, tucking his phone into his jeans. “Hey, you alright?”

  I nodded, walking away before he could ask any more questions. For weeks, I had tried to contact Kris, tried to make sure she was alright and apologize for what I had said. I hadn’t wanted her to leave. I wanted her at home when I was finished with the club, with her welcome smile and gentle hands.

  Hell, I had missed her so badly it hurt.

  Pulling out my phone, I thumbed through my messages, frowning when I didn’t see one from Kris. Even if she was pissed at me, I would have hoped she’d at least let me know she was okay. I knew she had nowhere to go, her family kicking her out the moment she had moved in with me, and what little was in her bank account had been cleared out a week ago, meaning she could be out there somewhere, starving.

  That didn’t sit well with me.

  But if she didn’t answer the fucking phone, I couldn’t help her. I hadn’t grown desperate enough to track her down, but I had hit the streets a few times, looking in every place I could think of.

  Wherever she was, Kris was doing a damn good job of keeping it from me.

  I rubbed at my eyes, feeling the strain of everything from the club to Kris between my shoulder blades. Now I understood why Harold constantly worried; it was probably the reason he had his heart attack. Being responsible for this whole operation was draining.

  Coupled with Kris’s sudden departure, I didn’t know what the hell to do. It was like my life had flipped and there was no one I could talk to about it.

  I’d been sleeping in the clubhouse, not wanting to go home to face my empty house and the good times we’d had there. Were those times over?

  “Boss! You gotta come see this.”

  I turned to see one of our recruits, Josh, standing in the doorway, a gleam in his eye. I wasn’t sure if I actually liked him or not yet, but he took orders well and was willing to go on the runs, which was what I needed right now. I needed able bodied men willing to put their necks on the line for the club. “What is it?”

  “You might better just come see,” he said instead of answering me, disappearing from the door. I sighed and walked out of the hall into the main room, where half the club filed out of the front door, the sound of bikes roaring down the street capturing my attention.

  I pushed my way outside, surprised to see Kris at the helm of the bikes coming down the street, feeling my heart start a slow pound in my chest wall. She was okay.

  She was fine.

  “What the hell?” Josh asked as he stepped next to me. “Is that an all-bitch club?”

  Tension tightened the muscles in my shoulders before I stepped forward. They came to a rolling stop in front of the clubhouse. There were a few of them, at least twenty or so and all seemed to know how to handle a bike. What the hell was Kris doing with this club?

  Who the hell was this club to begin with?

  Kris climbed off her bike—the spare one that I’d given her—and walked up to the sidewalk, her gaze colliding with mine. For a moment she seemed surprised to see me, and I fought the urge to close the gap between us and whisk her away from the stares, from the lives we had both chosen.

  “Mr. President,” she said.

  “Kristina,” I said coolly, masking my emotions. “What can the Jesters do for you and your friends here?”

  She glared at me, the hardness in her eyes making me squirm in my own skin. “We’re here to warn you to break off your ties with the cartel.”

  So that was what this was all about. “And who are your friends?” I asked, motioning to the rest of the bikers.

  “We are the Hell’s Bitches,” she answered. “And we will be the ones to stop you and your club if you decide to continue to do these runs for the cartel.”

  I masked my surprise in an expression of apathy, noting how the other women looked at her. Kris had not only found herself a club, she was their leader. A small piece of me felt pride for what she had done, remembering the broken woman I had rescued a little over two year ago.

  This woman before me had grown some balls without me.

  “Hell’s Bitches. I take it you are all women?”

  Kris swept her arm in front of the women on their bikes. “Yeah, we are all women. Is that a problem?”

  Before I could open my mouth to reply, Josh burst into laughter. “A bunch of cunts playing bikers? That’s a good one.”

  Kris’s eyes narrowed as the rest of the members who had poured outside snickered. It was clear the words wounded her pride and I didn’t like it.

  “You think that is funny in some way, asshole?” she asked. “You think we can’t stop you fuckers?”

  “I think you need to go back to your little clubhouse, sweetheart, get on your knees, and get ready to spit shine some cocks.” Josh jeered.

  Without another word, Kris pulled out a gun and shot Josh in the chest.

  The rest of the motions were slow, Josh falling to the ground, surprise in his eyes and blood spreading over his t-shirt. I started toward Kris, who was wide-eyed as she watched him fall, stepping in front of her in case there was retaliation.

  She aimed the smoking gun at me, and I held up my hands. “Hey, I won’t shoot you.”

  Kris held her gun on me, her hand steady. “You won’t, but I will. I have no qualms about putting a bullet in your chest, too.”

  “Don’t do this,” I said softly, so that only her ears could hear. “If you go up against me or the cartel, Kris, it will be your death.”

  “I remember telling you the same thing,” she replied. “I asked you not to be part of the cartel and you threw it back in my face. As far as I care, you are just as bad as they are.”

  Her words stung. “Kris, you know me.”

  She backed away toward her bike. “I knew you. Not anymore.”

  I let her go, ordering my men to stand down. No one was snickering now. “Let them go.”

  “Are you sure?” Corey said in a low voice as Kris climbed on her bike. “She just shot Josh.”

  “I said let them go,” I growled as she gunned the engine and sped off, leaving her club to follow her. “Get rid of the body, will you? He�
��s staining the damn sidewalk.”

  Corey made a sound but turned away to carry out my instructions. Kris and her gang disappeared around the corner, the sound of their engines dying off in the distance. If I knew anything about Kris, she was going to be dead set on making my life a living hell over this cartel thing. She didn’t make idle threats and given what she had done today, she felt strongly about stopping the cartel runs.

  If I or any of my club got in the way, there would be bloodshed.

  I just hoped it wouldn’t be hers or mine.

  I looked around at the Jester members gathered there, some eyeing me with questioning looks as to what I had just let happen.

  I couldn’t let it go. “Hell’s Bitches have made their mark with us, made them enemies of our club and of the cartel. Any Bitch who is caught will be brought to me for questioning. Do I make myself fucking clear?”

  Murmurs of disappointment simmered through them; no doubt they were disappointed I hadn’t given the order to kill first, but slowly the members walked back into the clubhouse, ignoring the stain of blood on the sidewalk.

  I didn’t follow them, but walked toward my bike instead. No, I wasn’t going after her, to try to chase her down and shake some sense into her brain like I wanted to. Sparing her life from this declaration was the best I could do for her, but there was no bringing her back.

  Not from this. Kris had laid down the ultimatum, one that I had no intentions of following.

  It was game on, but first, I had to do something to close this chapter.

  I had to let it all go.

  Chapter 14

  Kristina

  I stared at my reflection in the mirror, seeing the same eyes staring back at me. There was nothing different on the outside, but inside, I felt different.

  I knew I was different.

  My hands shook and I rubbed them together, remembering the feel of the gun in my hand right before I put a bullet in that young Jester’s chest. His words had burned a hole straight to my gut and I had felt the shame, the anger that he thought we couldn’t be equals to them.

  He had thought we were inferior.

  But I hadn’t wanted to kill him. I had wanted to shut him up, to keep him from spouting lies. When my finger squeezed that trigger, I knew I was changing the face of who I was.

  I became a true biker. The look on Rex’s face when I shot the guy surprised me.

  He had looked almost proud of me.

  I turned on the water in the sink and splashed the cool liquid on my face, feeling it run down my neck. Seeing Rex today had brought back all my feelings for him, all of the things we had shared together in one large ball in my chest. Those feelings were still there.

  I still loved him.

  Not that I thought I would be over him. Not by a long shot. I would probably love him for the rest of my days, but it would never be enough in his eyes. Today had shown that many times over. He thought I was going to get myself killed by standing up to the cartel and to his club.

  Well he might be right. I might die, but I would die proving we were the same, that I could die for what I believed in and who I was loyal to, just like them.

  We were truly enemies now and I really didn’t know how I felt about it. I didn’t want to be his enemy; I had wanted to be his wife, his life partner.

  Yet he hadn’t even given me the time of day when the club came calling. I doubted he had even thought about me or our relationship until I’d shown up today. I wondered what he thought of me now, now that I was a killer.

  Tears welled up in my eyes and I ground them out with the palms of my hands, not wanting to cry about it. I had killed a man. It wouldn’t be the last time either, not if I went through this plan.

  There would be many more killings, many more reasons for my gun to fire, leaving my hands trembling in the after math of bloodshed.

  Would it get any easier? Did I want it to?

  Straightening, I looked in the mirror again, seeing the clear gaze staring back at me. This was the woman I needed to be. Those women outside this door were counting on me to lead them down the right path.

  They were counting on me to be strong.

  Rex was my past, the one thing I thought I would have forever, but in reality, I had never truly had him. He had been biding his time until he got what he wanted and that was the club.

  I couldn’t fault him for that.

  What I didn’t want to think about was the days, weeks, and months ahead without him. Rex had been everything to me, everything, and now I couldn’t even call him to let him know I was sorry for today.

  That I hurt so badly sometimes. Did he ever regret anything between us? Did he go to sleep at night wondering where I was or what I was doing?

  Did he ever miss me?

  Clearing my mind, I knew I had to quit thinking about Rex and our former life together. We weren’t ever getting back together nor was this going to get easier as time passed. I would have to see him; I would have to be his enemy no matter what transpired between us.

  It wasn’t going to be easy, but I could do it. I could grow to be that person who no longer used my relationship in place of my own identity.

  I had done it with one bullet today. I had cemented my position and my club’s by killing that Jester. They would come gunning for us and I knew Rex would be leading the field, doing what he had to do as president.

  But I would be damned before I was the one staring down the barrel of someone else’s gun.

  Drawing in a breath, I opened the door and stepped out, walking toward the meeting room where I knew they were all waiting my next move for the club.

  I didn’t know what to tell them.

  I rounded the corner and found Mama Bear waiting for me outside the doorway. “You alright?”

  “I’m fine,” I forced out, throwing my hair behind my back. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  She walked toward me. “That was the first time you’ve ever killed a man, wasn’t it?”

  I couldn’t lie to her. “Yeah, it was.”

  Mama Bear reached out and gripped my shoulder, her eyes full of concern. “It doesn’t get any easier. Trust me. I’ve been where you are at right now and don’t pretend that you are okay. You’re not.”

  “I didn’t mean to kill him,” I blurted out. “I just… he made me so mad.”

  She dropped her hand. “Every time you raise that gun in your hand, you need to make sure you are ready to kill someone on the other end, alright? Don’t raise your gun if you aren’t ready to kill.”

  “Got it,” I said, swallowing my emotions. “If you want me to step down…”

  Mama Bear held up her hand, shaking her head wildly. “Of course not. What you are feeling keeps you human, Kristina. That feeling should never go away. The moment it does, you lose the most important part of yourself. Suck it up, move on, and forget this day ever happened. There are gonna be tougher days ahead. Tougher days that will have you balled up and ready to cry.”

  She stepped back then, clearing her throat. “But I need for you to tell me that next time, you will be able to shoot him. If he interferes, he’s no different than the rest. If you can’t make that promise, this mission is over before it even started.”

  I stared at her, my heart screaming out against what my mind knew. She wanted to make sure I could do the job if it came down to it, that I could kill Rex if he interfered with our mission.

  She wanted to make sure I could pull the trigger with him standing in front of me. If I couldn’t, I was of no use to this club.

  I didn’t look any different than the woman I had been before my life changed, but I wasn’t that woman any longer. Rex and I were over with and though I loved him, we were tugging on two opposite ends of the same rope.

  “Yeah,” I finally said. “Next time I won’t hesitate.”

  Mama Bear gave me a sad smile. “I know what your name should be.”

  “What’s that?”

 
; “Widow Maker.”

  I turned to look her, surprised. “Why?”

  She winked. “Because after today, you are going to be making a lot of widows.”

  I watched her go, a slow smile coming to my face. Widow Maker. Definitely not something I would pick out for myself but the meaning behind it was perfect.

  They’d better be ready. The Hell’s Bitches were coming for them all.