Shattered (Devil's Horsemen MC Book 2) Read online

  But it wasn’t meant to be. Clearly Neil and I had been like a combustible product that had come together and started all this shit, which had ended up with Leo dead and my life hanging in the balance.

  I hated it all.

  I washed off the soap and started on my hair, scrubbing it to get the smell of smoke out of the tresses. What did that mean for me? What if I couldn’t prove that Leo wasn’t a traitor? What if his letter was crap and meant to throw me off from what he was really doing?

  What if he had been protecting me from who he truly was?

  I shook off the thought. No. I knew my brother. I knew that he would never have been that person the rumors said he was. He would have never followed a man like Grayson Barnes and the horrible things that he’d been doing. The Devil’s Horsemen were no angels, but they weren’t arming kids, nor were they passing out drugs that were slowly killing this town, choking the life out of it. Leo had a conscience about him, and if he had seen that, he would have been putting a stop to it.

  I knew my brother.

  I didn’t know Neil Wheeler any longer. Not once had he asked for my forgiveness for killing Leo. Not once had he told me what I wanted to know about Leo’s death, always changing the subject and dismissing me.

  Was it too hard for him? Or had he forgotten that he had even shot Leo?

  Surely not.

  Washing the shampoo out of my hair, I shut off the water and climbed out, hearing my cell phone chirp in my jeans pocket. Grabbing the towel off the rack, I wrapped it around me as I searched for my phone, finally wrangling it out of my pocket.

  “Hello?”

  “You wanna know how your brother died? He died begging for his life like the bitch he was.”

  I froze as the raspy voice repeated the sentence, then the line went dead.

  I dropped the phone on the tiled floor. No. This could not be happening now.

  The door burst open and I looked at a bare-chested Neil, his eyes wild with concern. It was then I realized I had been screaming.

  His gun in his hand, he looked around the small bathroom before tucking it into his jeans again, his arms going around me.

  “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  I tried to get the words out, but they wouldn’t come. I collapsed against his bare chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart under my cheek. He swore and gathered me close, sliding to the floor before pulling me into his lap. I cried for the loss of Leo, for the harshness of today, and for the call. Someone wanted me to suffer, and I didn’t know why.

  Neil didn’t say a word, His large hand slid lightly up and down my back, helping me feel somewhat safe with him here in my apartment. Despite what had happened between us, he was going to protect me.

  Most of all, I didn’t think Neil was the random caller.

  He didn’t say a word as my cries quieted, and I realized I was just wrapped in a towel, crushed against Neil’s chest, sitting on his lap as I had done many times before. His skin was warm under my cheek, the steely hardness of his chest taking my breath away, and I wanted nothing more than to turn inward to him and tell him to make us forget for a while. My body flooded with the memories of us together, how well we fit despite our differences in height. I had never felt so loved than when I was in his arms.

  But this was not the time nor the place for that.

  “What’s going on Rox?” he asked softly, his chest rumbling with each word. “Tell me, so I can help.”

  “It was a phone call,” I said, breathing in his scent. God, I had missed him. “They… he has been calling me, to taunt me about Leo’s death.”

  “Shit,” Neil swore, his arms tightening around me. “Who is it?”

  I shook my head, the tears crowding my eyes once more.

  “I-I don’t know.”

  “Don’t worry,” he replied a moment later. “I’ll protect you.”

  I sucked up the last bit of tears, reality crashing down on me as I realized we were sitting on my bathroom floor, with me in nothing but a towel. I pushed at him, nearly toppling him over as I scrambled to get off his lap, awkwardly attempting to hold onto the towel the best I could.

  Neil didn’t say a word as he picked himself off the floor, wiping his hands on his jeans before looking at me.

  “You alright?” he asked softly.

  “No,” I said honestly, lifting my chin. “I’m not alright.”

  He gave me a nod, his long hair falling around his face. I fought the urge to push it out of his face.

  “Mind if I take a shower?”

  “Go ahead,” I said jerkily before exiting the bathroom and escaping to my bedroom.

  Once the door was shut, I sank to the floor, burying my head in my hands. I could still feel Neil’s arms around me, comforting me when I had needed it the most. Oh God, how easy it would have been to have had sex with him right then and there! We both needed the break from reality, but in the complicated relationship we had going on right now, it wasn’t going to solve anything. It would only complicate it more, and I didn’t have time for the complications of the feelings I had for Neil.

  I was worrying more and more that he hadn’t told me the truth about Leo’s death, though.

  Blowing out a breath, I pulled myself off the floor and found another change of clothes in my closet, having abandoned the others in the bathroom. I could hear the shower running, picturing Neil’s hard body under the same steady stream of water I had just been under. My hands knew that body very well, my lips even more. There wasn’t a patch of skin on him I hadn’t touched or kissed.

  “You’re in deep trouble,” I muttered to myself as I let the towel fall to the floor.

  I just needed to stay away from him in all aspects of a physical sense, keep him at arm’s length while we worked to clear Leo’s name.

  One more touch, one more look, and I might not have the strength to deny myself any longer.

  Chapter Ten

  Neil

  I laid on Rox’s couch, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the ticking of the clock in the kitchen. It was well past midnight, but I couldn’t sleep, my body primed and ready to stop anyone that attempted to come through that door to harm Rox.

  The couch was horrible, the springs wearing through the thin cushions and digging uncomfortably into my body. But I had already tried the chair (just as bad) and the floor (ten times worse), so the couch was the only piece of furniture that was even remotely worth trying to sleep on.

  I didn’t dare attempt to sleep in the same bed as Rox.

  Rubbing a hand over my face, I rolled off the couch and stood, stretching my sore muscles. Already, I had done some sit-ups and push-ups to prime my body for the days ahead.

  That, and to burn some of the energy that refused to settle. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Rox crumpled on the floor in that towel, my arms around her, as she cried her heart out over some asshole that was attempting to scare her. I wanted to find the bastard and give him something to cry about before I killed him, but first we would have to figure out who was behind the calls.

  And why.

  It just didn’t feel like Grayson’s M.O. None of it did.

  Careful to avoid the squeaky boards in the floor, I crossed over to her bedroom and peered in. Rox had put up a good fight when I’d told her she was going to keep her bedroom door open tonight, but in the end I had won out.

  It wasn’t because I thought someone would sneak in. It was more because I was selfish in my need to check in on her from time to time throughout the night.

  Rox was asleep on her bed, the covers thrown off despite the chilliness of the apartment. I stared at her body, which was barely covered in a t-shirt, her pale legs shining in the light coming from the window. God, I wanted to climb in beside her and hold her through the night, just so we both could get a good night’s rest for once. This was more than just sex.

  This was about love and protection and how, despite our differences, I still loved her.

  I still wanted her
.

  Leaning against the door, I watched as she slept, thinking about the times we’d had together, however brief they had been. They ran through my mind constantly, replaying in my head and reminding me of what I had lost.

  What I wasn’t meant to have.

  I fucking hated it.

  Running a hand over my face, I stepped away from the doorway and walked into the kitchen, my bare feet barely making a sound as I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Tonight, was the first time I had seen Rox’s resolve slip, that she might be able to forgive me for every bit of pain I had caused her. I wanted to grovel at her feet, to beg her forgiveness. I knew she hated me, and she had every right to do so.

  But what she didn’t know was that I had already told Leo about me and her before he died, getting his approval without her knowledge. Leo had been my best friend, and I wasn’t going to let him think that I was using his baby sister for anything other than for her to save me.

  ***

  I leaned back in the chair, staring at the beer on the table as Leo digested my words. I was tense, knowing that at any moment he could fly into a rage and pummel me for touching Rox.

  And I would let him. Though it would be damn hard to break it off with her, I would if he told me to. Leo and Rox were my family, just like my Ma was, and there was no way I would jeopardize that bond, no matter how painful it would be for me to step away from Rox.

  Leo blew out a breath, finally looking at me with hard eyes.

  “Of all women, you went after her?”

  I cleared my throat, not missing the edge to his voice.

  “I know, but I’m not gonna apologize for it.”

  I had left Rox in my bed, calling Leo to meet me for a beer at the clubhouse so that we could do this man to man. I had promised Rox we would do it together, but I didn’t want him to be caught off guard.

  I owed him that much.

  “What’s your plans then?” he asked, taking a draw off his beer. “For my sister?”

  “I love her,” I said softly, looking him in the eye. “I can’t promise she won’t get hurt in her life, nor can I promise when I can walk away from this line of work. But I can promise I would do my damnedest to protect her with my life if need be.”

  Leo arched a brow.

  “What about marriage?”

  I swallowed hard. Marriage had not been a word I had thought about in my life. Even though I had been with numerous women, none of them had made me think about a future or marriage.

  Or kids.

  Leo chuckled, picking up his beer again.

  “You look like I just told you your best dog died, man.”

  I wiped a hand over my face, surprised to feel it damp with sweat.

  “To be honest, if Rox thought I was good enough for marriage, I wouldn’t object.”

  “Good answer,” Leo said, slapping the table. “Dude, I couldn’t think about of a better man to be with my sister than you! I know she’s safe and you would never hurt her.”

  I squirmed in my chair.

  “But hell, man, I’ve done things in my life.”

  “That you did,” Leo interrupted. “But it doesn’t mean you are any less of a man. Hell, we have all done things we aren’t proud of, but it doesn’t automatically make us bad people. Rox must see the good in you, and if she does, then you need to hold on to that. Don’t ever let it go.”

  “You are poetic when you are drunk,” I chuckled, clinking bottles with him.

  But his words stuck in my mind. I wasn’t planning on letting her go, not without a fight.

  ***

  That night, I had gotten Leo’s full approval to carry on with the relationship. But in the next month we were done, torn apart by Leo’s death and betrayal.

  I had never told Rox that I’d had a meeting with her brother, but he had gone to his grave knowing I was going to take care of his sister until my dying breath. That was why he had written those words in that letter.

  That was why I was here now, watching over her while she slept. She was my family, my heart, no matter how fucking hard life got. I wasn’t going to ever love another the way I loved her, nor did I want to. Hell, I wanted to die every time I saw the pain in her eyes, the hatred she felt for me, and what she thought I had done to Leo.

  Taking a swallow of the water, I forced myself to think about the present and Grant’s promise to clear Leo’s name with evidence. We needed to get over to Leo’s house and tear the damn thing apart. There had to be something there, something that Rox hadn’t found yet.

  A cry caught my attention, and instantly I was running to her bedroom, ready to fight. Rox was tangled up in the covers, thrashing about, but there was no immediate danger.

  Not in the real world at least.

  Carefully, I moved to her bedside and eased myself on the bed, wrapping an arm around her to bring her against my body. She had done this before, not realizing that I had been the one to soothe her in her sleep.

  Nor had I ever told her. The things she had mumbled to me during those times, giving me a glimpse into her childhood, had torn at my heart, and I had wanted to kill her father all over again for the torture he had put her through.

  “Shh,” I said softly, smoothing her hair off her forehead. “No one is going to hurt you.”

  She cried out again, and I tightened my hold, pressing her against my warmth.

  Leo had been right. I never wanted to let her go. Rox was under my skin, the very air I breathed, and I would fight to keep her.

  Even if I lost her in the end.

  Chapter Eleven

  Rox

  I opened the door the next morning to a frantic Amy Travis, who grabbed me by the shoulders as soon as she saw me.

  “Oh my God! I just came from the salon. What happened?”

  “Good morning to you too,” I grumbled, opening the door wider so she could slide in.

  I hadn’t slept the best last night, my dreams filled with childhood memories that I would rather forget. Amy Travis had started coming to my salon a few months earlier, a vivacious woman who just happened to be Grant Travis’s daughter. I liked her, despite our differences.

  She stopped in her tracks as she caught glimpse of Neil propped up on the counter.

  “Neil.”

  He gave her a nod.

  “Amy.”

  I sighed and shut the door. I really didn’t want to admit it, but I had gotten used to Neil being here overnight, even going as far as to fix him breakfast in between calling my clients and postponing their appointments. If an outsider had been looking in, they would have found our time together cozy.

  But it wasn’t. Another part of my night had been filled with dreams about him, dreams that I hadn’t necessarily wanted to get out of. It was a break from the usual chaos that filled my head, and I had enjoyed a few hours of him skimming his hands over my body, taking me to new heights.

  But this morning, reality had set in. We weren’t the same people any longer, and he wasn’t the man I was supposed to be with.

  No matter how much I wanted him to be.

  Amy pivoted and looked at me, arching a brow.

  “I see we have some things to discuss.”

  Neil took the hint and pushed away from the counter, laying a gun on the top of it, the metal gleaming in the morning light.

  “I’m going to grab a few things from home, and then we will head to Leo’s. Will you be alright for a little while?”

  I suddenly didn’t want him to go, but I pushed through the nausea rolling around in my stomach.

  “I’ll be fine. Amy is here. She has guns. I have guns. We will be like Bonnie and Clyde.”

  Amy took a moment to pull her Glock out of her handbag, showing it to Neil.

  “I’m armed and ready, sir.”

  Neil rolled his eyes, and I caught myself before I giggled, wishing that things were different. Oh, how I missed him!

  “Fine,” he said, grabbing his jacket and shrugging it on. “But call me at the first hint
of any trouble. I don’t want to miss the gunfight you ladies are going to put on.”

  I walked him to the door, opening it so he could exit. Neil turned, and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. My lips parted at the thought, and his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his expression softening. I wasn’t going to stop him, not this one time.

  Please, God, let me have this one time.

  But Neil shuttered his gaze and gave me a nod before walking down the stairs, forcing me to shut the door with an aggravated sigh.