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  “It was horrible. I thought you were dead.”

  “It will take more than that to kill me,” I answered. “I’m so damned sorry Alice. I thought…” I couldn’t go on; the words stuck in my throat.

  She watched me with those large, luminous eyes of hers, and I wondered where her glasses were.

  “The house is gone,” I forced out, deciding to break it to her as gently as I could but without holding anything back. “Your mom, she got hurt.”

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  “I know. The blood… Oh, God, she’s dead, isn’t she? Is that why you are here?”

  I shook my head, wishing like hell I could pull her against me.

  “No, she’s in surgery. I don’t know how she is.”

  Alice visibly swallowed, and I wiped an escaping tear with the pad of my thumb, my heart literally shattering in my chest. I would do anything, say anything to take the pain away from her, the pain I had caused.

  Had she never met me, she would have been safe with Jack or some other fucker who would have known better than to touch her.

  To love her.

  “I can’t lose her,” Alice finally said in a small voice.

  Shit!

  “You won’t.” As if I had something to do with whether she lived or died. “I’m going to make sure you and your mom are safe.”

  Even if it meant safe from me.

  Alice opened her mouth, but whatever words she was going to say were drowned out by a bellow from beyond the curtain, a bellow that was very familiar.

  “McMurray! Dammit! Where the hell are you?”

  I touched Alice’s cheek before standing.

  “I’ll be right back.” Alice didn’t make a sound, closing her eyes as I walked out behind the curtain and found myself face to face with a red-faced Jack Carry.

  Jack wasted no time grabbing the front of my shirt and jacking me up against the wall, anger radiating from his eyes.

  “I trusted you to protect them!”

  I didn’t try to fight him. I already felt like shit for what had happened, and he had every damn right to be pissed off at me.

  “You’re right. I fucking screwed up.”

  “You can’t even imagine,” he started as Fox laid a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to step back. “I want to kick your ass for this.”

  “Cheryl is in surgery,” I said calmly. “Alice is fine, but she can hear every fucking word you are saying right now. She needs to know she’s safe, not this.”

  “He’s right,” Nat’s voice floated down the hallway.

  I turned to see the Russian beauty storming toward us, anger on her face, her petite frame wrapped in a shirt, which clearly was Fox’s, and a pair of yoga pants. It was hard to believe that she had once been a woman draped in designer clothes and diamonds.

  “Nat,” Fox started as she barreled down on us. “I got this covered.”

  Nat balled up her fist and slugged Fox hard in the face, surprising him.

  “That is for nearly dying tonight, you… you… asshole!”

  He caught her arm and pulled her against him, ignoring her struggles.

  “I didn’t nearly die tonight. I’m fine. We all are fine.”

  I watched as she shuddered in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him tightly against her. Fox reached down and muttered some words softly in her ear, clearly trying to make his fiancée see that we had all made it out. It made me think of how I should have done the same to Alice, to show her that I was strong enough to protect her from anything.

  Either that or I would die trying.

  Finally, Nat pulled away from her fiancé, wiping her eyes.

  “Take this shit outside, will you? Alice doesn’t need the two of you assholes fighting in front of her room.”

  “Good to see you too,” Jack grumbled as she pushed aside the curtain and entered the room.

  He turned back toward me and I could see the rage simmering under his skin.

  “You know? I thought you were like your old man, but you’re nothing like him. He would have never put these two in that kind of danger. Never.”

  “Jack,” Fox swore, starting toward us.

  I held up my hand, Jack’s words cutting through me like sharp edges of a blade.

  “You’re right. My da would never fucking screw this up like this. Let me fix it. Let me help.”

  Jack stepped closer to me, until we were nearly nose to nose.

  “Help? I don’t need your fucking help if this is what it costs. You better hope that Cheryl comes out of this thing alive or I will hold you personally responsible for her death. You hear me?”

  “Jack, come on,” Fox said, grabbing his arm. “That’s not fucking fair.”

  Jack shook him off.

  “Life’s not fair. I should have never trusted you with them.”

  I swallowed hard, his harsh words settling deep in my soul. I didn’t have the same relationship that Fox had with the man before me, but in that moment, I would have rather he sucker-punched me than say those words. He would fucking kill me if he knew what else I had done with Alice.

  I should walk away, make it easy for everyone, but there was a woman behind that curtain that was making it damn hard to do so.

  “What do you want me to do, then?” I asked quietly.

  Jack eyed me hard before stepping back and swearing.

  “I ain’t got time for this right now. We have to get one over on the Cazadores before they fucking kill us all.” Then he pointed a finger at me. “But this is not over between us McMurray, you hear me?”

  “Loud and clear,” I answered.

  I wouldn’t have expected anything different from him.

  He gave me a tight nod and walked away, Fox trailing behind him, talking to him urgently.

  I watched them go before expelling a breath, looking back at the curtain where I could hear Nat’s soft voice. This whole night was nothing but a shit-storm. I should walk away, take Jack’s words to heart, and help go after the Cazadores myself.

  But that would leave no one to watch over Alice, and I knew she would be on my mind constantly if I even tried to run away from her.

  Shit!

  Entering the room, I watched as both women looked at me warily, Alice more than Nat. Nat… Well, she was looking at me with curiosity more than anything.

  “I’m gonna see when they plan on releasing you,” I said softly, not moving from my spot. “And then we will see if they will tell us anything about your mom.”

  Alice lifted her chin, dark circles under her eyes.

  “I’m not leaving until I see her, make sure she’s okay.”

  “Of course, honey,” Nat said, rubbing Alice’s hand with her own. “Why don’t I go and check on the progress.” She looked up at me. “You’ll stay here, right?”

  I nodded, clenching my jaw, and Nat stood, giving Alice a soft smile.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  We both were silent as she left the room, the silence settling over us like a thick, dark cloud. Why hadn’t I just gotten out when I had a chance to?

  Why had I even touched Alice to begin with?

  Alice drew her knees to her chest, hugging them with her arms.

  “I hate hospitals.”

  Reaching out to grasp the line she was throwing me, I walked over and straddled the chair that Nat had vacated.

  “Yeah, me too.”

  I had spent many a night, sleeping in those damn chairs they have in hospital rooms, watching my da sleep under the influence of heavy medications. Even in the last days, it had taken all I had to walk across the threshold of that room, where death lingered, waiting for its moment to shine.

  “We will get you out of here soon, I swear it.”

  If I didn’t, we were all gonna go crazy.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Alice

  I breathed a huge sigh of relief as I looked at the surgeon, his words washing over me.

  “She’s truly going to be alrig
ht?”

  The surgeon nodded, exhaustion hovering on his face.

  “The first twenty-four hours are the most concerning, but the wood missed most of her vital organs, only nicking her spleen. I’ve removed it, and now we wait.”

  My knees buckled, but I forced myself to remain upright, wanting to be strong.

  At least on the outside.

  “Thank you.”

  He nodded and exited the room, leaving us to look at my mom once more.

  Derrek was at my side, right where I imagined he was going to stay for some time, despite the words exchanged between my father and him earlier. Nat and Fox were hovering near the doorway, there for me should I suddenly have decided to have a freak-out moment. Though I loved my friends, I hated the empathy on their faces, wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball and shut everyone out. My head still buzzed from the medication I had been given, and my chest ached at the sight of my mom on that hospital bed, with tubes running out of her body, keeping her comfortable.

  Reaching over, I touched her hand, scared to do anything else in case I caused her harm somehow.

  “You’re gonna be fine, Mom. You’re safe.”

  “We are going to have a few guys posted at her door,” Derrek said softly. “No one will get to her in here.”

  “I should have gotten her out faster,” I said, swallowing my emotion. “It’s my fault she’s like this.”

  Derrek’s hand touched my shoulder, gripping it lightly.

  “It’s not your fault. It’s mine, but I will not make that mistake again. Not with her or you.”

  His words were laced with emotion, and I wanted to turn in his arms, to comfort him and tell him it wasn’t his fault either. He had saved us.

  But I couldn’t do that. There was a piece of me that wanted to pull away from his touch, to distance myself, so I wouldn’t feel the pain that would be coming when Derrek did walk away. My heart had lurched in my chest when he had appeared in that room, no worse for wear. The relief that had flooded through my body had been instantaneously, and I knew that I hadn’t just given him my virginity.

  I had given him my heart. It was the absolute worst thing I could have done with a man like Derrek. He wasn’t one to be tied down.

  Not with me.

  “Come on,” Derrek urged. “Let’s get you home. You need to rest.”

  I lightly squeezed my mom’s hand and turned away from the bed, looking at my friends.

  “Thank you.”

  “Oh honey,” Nat said, reaching out to pull me into a hug. “You go on, get some rest and don’t worry about your mom. I’ll sit with her for a little while and call you if there’s any change.”

  “Thank you,” I repeated, returning her hug.

  I didn’t want to leave, but I doubted anyone in this room would be inclined to let me stay.

  “I found your cat,” Fox said as I pulled away from Nat. “He’s in the truck, pissed off.”

  I let out a grateful laugh, imagining the tough-as-nails biker trying to wrangle Chester into some sort of hold.

  “I’m sure he is.”

  Fox threw the keys to Derrek, who caught them in midair.

  “Take my truck. I’ll catch a ride with Nat later on.”

  “Thanks,” Derrek said. “I’ll be in touch.”

  Fox slid away from the doorframe as we walked past, Derrek close on my heels. I felt dirty, wanting a shower and my cat – some sort of normalcy back in my life.

  How had this happened? How had my life been turned upside down and feel so out of place? Things like this didn’t happen to girls like me.

  We walked outside into the rain, the cold drops feeling good against my skin.

  “I can’t take you home,” Derrek said quietly as he led us to a truck in the parking lot.

  I stopped to look at him.

  “I need to go home.”

  His jaw was clenched tightly, his eyes glittering emeralds.

  “You can’t go home, Alice. Hell, they tried to kill you in a safehouse. What do you think they will do in your apartment?”

  I needed to go home. I didn’t want to be anywhere but surrounded by my things, in my bubble of comfort.

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Oh, I understand,” Derrek said, advancing toward me, anger flashing on his face. “I understand that I damn near lost you, and I won’t let that happen again, alright? If you won’t go willingly, then I will have to force you, Alice, and I don’t want to do that.”

  His anger didn’t scare me. It was the fear that was radiating out of his gaze that caused me to pause in my assault.

  Derrek couldn’t be scared.

  “Well?” he asked, holding up the keys. “Are you coming willingly?”

  “Fine,” I ground out, turning away, my heart beating wildly in my chest.

  I had imagined it. Derrek wasn’t scared of anything, least of all my life or lack thereof. He was just worried about Jack’s threats, which had made me want to pull back the curtain and stand up for Derrek. Derrek had been in my life longer than my own father had, and the way he had talked to him had been uncalled for. Derrek had done everything to keep me and my mom safe.

  “Good,” he growled, pointing to the truck. “Get in and let’s get the hell out of here.”

  **

  Thirty minutes later, we pulled into an apartment complex, the smell of French fries and greasy burgers filling the cab of the truck. It was already early afternoon and my stomach rumbled in anticipation of eating and getting into bed.

  Wherever that bed might be.

  Derrek pulled the truck into a parking spot and shut off the engine, resting his wrists on the steering wheel.

  “It’s not much, but I don’t spend a hell of a lot of time here.”

  It was a nicer apartment complex than the one I was currently living in.

  “I’m sure it will be fine.”

  He didn’t say anything as he opened the door, grabbing Chester from the backseat. Somehow, Fox had found the carrier we had brought him to my mom’s in, and the cat had been meowing angrily since the moment we entered the truck.

  I grabbed the food bags and followed Derrek up the stairs to the second floor, where he dug out a set of keys from his jeans and opened the door.

  “Welcome to my house.”

  I stepped inside, frowning as I did. It was as neat as a pin. The furniture and carpet looked brand new. He hadn’t lied about not spending a lot of time here. It didn’t even look like anyone lived here.

  “Are you sure you are okay with Chester being here?” I asked.

  He shut the door, setting down the carrier.

  “Sure, why wouldn’t I be?”

  Because his apartment looked like one they would use for a model unit. The furniture was leather, the TV enormous. I was surprised to see a bookcase next to the TV, filled with books.

  Swallowing, I walked over to the kitchen, complete with gleaming stainless-steel appliances and granite countertops, placing the bags on the bar area.

  “How long have you lived here?”

  “Two years,” he answered, brushing past me to the fridge. “I got some sodas and water. Beer if you want it.”

  “Water, please,” I answered.

  I shook my head. My apartment looked like a dump compared to this. If I sniffed hard enough, I probably would smell the newness of the entire building.

  Derrek set a bottle of water in front of me.

  “Sit. Eat. Is there anything I can get you?”

  I shook my head, pulling our burgers out of the bag, sliding his toward him.

  “You need to eat too.”

  Though his clothes were covered with bits of what was left of my mom’s house, it was crazy to think he had come out of it unscathed, with not even a scratch on his face. Thinking of what could have happened caused my throat to close up unexpectedly.

  I had nearly lost everything important in my life, including Derrek.

  We ate silently and quickly, both of us rave
nous. Derrek let out Chester, who immediately darted under the chair and stared at us with his shrewd gaze, his tail twitching in anger.

  “I think I have some tuna here,” Derrek said as he rummaged through the cabinets.