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  “Trying to make friends again?” I teased lightly, as he pulled out a can and started to open it.

  Derrek gave me a grin.

  “Maybe.”

  I watched as he put the can on the floor before stepping back, wondering how I could have been so wrong about my sexy biker. There was a side to him I doubted he let many people see.

  “Well,” he said, wiping his hands together. “You want to shower?”

  He didn’t say together, but I thought it all the same.

  Perhaps that was what we both needed, to forget for a while. My body craved his touch, the way he could make me feel almost normal. Despite my reservations of losing my heart to him, I wanted him.

  Sliding off the stool, I stepped in front of Derrek, seeing the indecision in his eyes. Without any words, I slid my arms around his waist, pressing my face into his chest. He smelled of smoke and dirt, but I didn’t care.

  All I wanted to do was be near him.

  Finally, his body shuddered, and his arms went around me tightly, his face buried in my hair.

  “God, Alice, you don’t know how scared I was.”

  “Yes, I do,” I whispered, hugging him tightly. “I thought you were dead.”

  He let out a breath, his hand rubbing my back lightly.

  “I know, and I am so damned sorry. I let you down.”

  I shook my head against him, raw emotion climbing in my throat. He hadn’t done that. Without him, I would have been kidnapped long before, possibly dead already.

  And I would never have felt those emotions inside me, the cost of loving someone I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep in the end. Derrek hadn’t let me down, he had given me so much, given me a reason to fight this anxiety that had crippled me for so many years. Couldn’t he see what he had done?

  Pulling back, I looked into his eyes.

  “I need you.”

  He visibly swallowed.

  “Alice, I…”

  “No,” I interrupted, surprised by my own strong will.

  Sliding my hand to cup his cheek, I leaned into his body.

  “I need this. I need you.”

  “You’re fucking killing me,” he whispered. “God I want you so much.”

  “Then take me,” I whispered.

  He swore, before his head dipped. His lips captured mine, hard and demanding, as he ravaged my mouth. I gasped at the sudden onslaught. Derrek’s tongue slid into my mouth. His hands were fisted in my hair, holding me against him, and I could feel his bulge pressed against my stomach.

  He wanted me too.

  Finally, Derrek broke the kiss, resting his forehead against mine.

  “I can’t do this.”

  Oh no, he wasn’t about to back out of this now.

  “Yes, you can,” I said, tugging on his shirt.

  I was taking a step out of my comfort zone, but I wasn’t about to beg for it.

  He took one look at me, and I knew I had won. There was too much intensity, too much heat in his eyes for him to say ‘no’ now. I pushed up his shirt and pressed a kiss to his chest, hearing him groan in response.

  It was my turn.

  Derrek whipped the shirt over his head as I ran my hands down his strong chest, marveling at the differences between our bodies.

  “You’re beautiful,” I whispered, my fingers scraping over his taunt abdomen.

  Derrek’s body rumbled with laughter.

  “Look closer, darling. There’s nothing pretty about this body.”

  I begged to differ. My finger touched a crescent in his side, one of the many light scars that were on his body.

  “What’s this from?”

  “Knife,” he said, his voice sounding breathless. “Wrong bed, wrong time.”

  I looked up to see Derrek watching me intently.

  “What?”

  He gave me a wink.

  “That’s a story for another time.”

  And to completely remind me that I was way out of Derrek’s league.

  Pushing that thought aside for now, I tugged at his belt buckle.

  “What are you doing Alice?” Derrek asked harshly, as I freed the belt around his waist, my hands trembling with more need than nervousness.

  I pushed his hands away when he tried to interfere, blood pounding in my ears. I really didn’t know what I was doing, but my instinct was that I was on the right track.

  “Alice, fuck…” he whispered as I freed his bulge, the engorged member standing at attention.

  My mouth went dry as I reached out to stroke it. I could feel it pulsating in my hand. I was already wet with anticipation, a flood of heat trapped in my body, wanting to get out.

  But first, I wanted to bring Derrek to his knees. Gripping him lightly, I stroked him, learning the entire length of him with my fingers, rewarded with a groan as he pushed his body toward me. When I dropped to my knees, Derrek made a strangled sound, his hands gripping in my hair.

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  “I want to,” I said softly before pressing my lips to the swollen head.

  “Shit,” Derrek swore as I explored him with my tongue, tentatively at first. “You’re killing me, Alice.”

  I looked up and caught his eye, feeling powerful with him in my mouth. Now I understood.

  Finally, after a few minutes, Derrek pulled away from me, running a hand roughly through his hair.

  “I want to bury myself in you,” he said harshly, helping me to my feet.

  I swallowed, not sure what to say.

  All I knew was that I wanted the same thing.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Derrek

  I helped Alice off the floor and pulled her toward the bedroom, my blood racing through my body. Her mouth on my cock, that had been the hottest thing I had seen in… Well, in all my damn life.

  It was also something that had humbled me, that she trusted me that much to do something like that.

  And now, it was my turn.

  We entered the bedroom, and I spun around, pulling her into my arms and hungrily kissing her mouth until she whimpered. My hands found her shirt. I pulled it over her head as I moved us toward the bed, until Alice fell on it, her face flushed as she gazed up at me. For a moment, I stood there, looking down at her, my own chest aching at the sight. I didn’t want to do this to her again, but I couldn’t help myself.

  She was like a drug I couldn’t shake.

  Her smile dimmed, and I tugged on her shorts and panties, succeeding in getting them off before I could change my mind. This was about her right now, no matter how wrong it was for me to even touch her skin.

  Divesting myself of my jeans and shoes, I covered her body with mine, pressing kisses along her jawline.

  “This is going to be fast and furious,” I whispered against her collarbone. “I damn near lost it in your warm, wet mouth.”

  Alice squeaked as I covered her breast with my free hand, trailing kisses down her body. I wanted her so badly I could taste it, my body humming with the need.

  When my hand reached her core, I groaned against her skin.

  “You’re so wet for me.”

  She made an unintelligible sound, bucking against my touch, and I knew she wanted this just as much as I did. My cock pressed painfully against her stomach, and I growled, positioning myself at her wet entrance. I would make it up to her later, but right now, I needed to be inside her.

  To feel complete.

  She gasped as I slid inside, my fingers finding her swollen nub. She cried out, her body clenching around my cock.

  “That’s it,” I urged, sliding home.

  The sounds, the gasps… Each one tore at my chest, burning a hole in my heart and I held them there for when I was going to have to walk away from her.

  She deserved better than the likes of me.

  Alice clenched at my shoulders, and I started to move, holding back my own release to ensure that she had hers once more.

  God, she was gorgeous like this, her body flushed with pleasure
, her eyes shining with passion. I leaned down, my arms straining, and brushed my lips over hers.

  “This is all that matters in the end.”

  She looked up at me, and her lips parted, but I didn’t want to hear what she was going to say. I moved faster until she cried out once more. There were too many emotions, too many things that would be left between us, once this was all said and done, and she was going to hate me at some point.

  But in this moment, I knew I loved her.

  Grunting, I let go, hearing her cries as I pounded into her with my own release, until I was spent, falling on top of her slick body.

  For a moment, I lay there, feeling her heart pound against my cheek and wishing that I could give her what she needed. I’d never loved anyone before, not in this sense, but the way Alice made me feel, this protective streak in me that wanted to hole her up in this bedroom for the rest of our lives, had to be love.

  Not only that, her smile was what I thought about constantly. The sheer terror I had felt when I thought she had been injured…

  She was every-fucking-thing in my life, and I was gonna have to let her go.

  Her hand found my hair, and her fingers rifled through it, the tender strokes unhurried.

  “There’s one thing I don’t understand about this.”

  Puzzled, I lifted my head to look into her gaze.

  “What’s that?”

  She gave me a slight grin.

  “How it gets better with each time.”

  Her words normally would have made me chuckle, but instead I pushed myself off her, moving to the side of the massive king bed to gather her close.

  Fuck it! I was going to hold onto this just a little longer, punish myself for what I would miss when I walked out.

  She sighed and melted against me, her fingers stroking the length of my arm.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I forced out, pressing a kiss into her hair. “Just recovering.”

  “You know,” she said after a moment. “What Jack said… It’s not true, Derrek.”

  I swallowed the ball of emotion in my throat.

  “It is true Alice. I’m the cause of your mom’s injury.”

  She shifted in my arms until we were face to face, anger flashing in her eyes.

  “You saved us, Derrek. If you hadn’t gotten us out of there, bought us some time, we would be dead.”

  “You should have never been that position in the first place,” I growled, ignoring the way she was touching my jaw. “I should have taken you somewhere else, somewhere safer.”

  Alice frowned.

  “Jack is the one that made us go there, not you. If anything, he should be blaming himself.”

  The thing was, she didn’t understand his frustration. He was blaming himself. I had seen Jack pissed off many times before, but the scared look in his eyes had been the reason for the anger he had directed toward me. It was the same fear I’d had, thinking that Alice was injured.

  “Say what you want,” I finally answered. “But I take the blame.”

  Alice shook her head before leaning against my chest, her fingers stroking my skin.

  “I just don’t understand the male ego. Why can’t you just accept that you saved us last night?”

  She wasn’t going to let it go. I wasn’t comfortable with this savior-like persona she was putting on me. Didn’t she understand that I and the Legion were no better than the Cazadores? I had done some horrible things at that bar and wasn’t this upstanding bar owner that didn’t get his damn hands dirty.

  “Do you know my father laundered money for the Legion?” I asked finally, attempting to squash this halo she was putting over me.

  Instead of gasping, she chuckled.

  “Do you know that my father is the Legion’s president? I don’t think my family is any better than yours is, Derrek.”

  Well, hell! She had a point there.

  “I’ve killed people before.”

  That got her attention, and she raised her head toward mine, questions dancing in her beautiful eyes.

  “Why are you doing this, Derrek?”

  “Doing what?” I asked innocently, giving her no emotions. “You should know who you are fucking, Alice.”

  She cringed at my words.

  “That makes it sound dirty.”

  My heart crushed in my chest as I flipped her over, pinning her against the bed.

  “You think what we are doing is any different than what I have done before?”

  I pressed my body against her, letting her feel the evidence of another arousal growing.

  “It’s never different. It’s always fucking, Alice.”

  She swallowed hard, emotion swirling in her eyes, and I felt like an asshole. If this is what was what it was going to take, though, for her to lose those stars in her eyes, it was what had to be done.

  I couldn’t be with her.

  She was too good for me.

  “You’re being mean for no reason,” she finally said in a small voice.

  I looked down at her and almost caved with an apology, realizing I was holding her wrists against the bed.

  Like a brute.

  “You don’t know me,” I forced out instead, though I loosened the grip on her wrists as I said the words.

  To her credit, she didn’t look away. The pity and hurt in her eyes tore me in a thousand pieces.

  “I know all I need to know, Derrek. This is not you.”

  I let her go then, pushing myself off the bed to find my jeans, pulling them up over my hips. I was pissed off at myself, pissed off that I wasn’t scaring her like I needed to. Well, if Jack had his way, I wouldn’t be even ten feet near her once he got a chance to think.

  “Where are you going?” she asked softly, as I pushed my feet into my shoes.

  I looked back at her, taking a moment to file away the way she looked in my bed, the sheet pulled up over her luscious body, her hair falling down around her shoulders like a woman who had been thoroughly fucked.

  No, not fucked, loved.

  The problem was, I couldn’t tell her.

  “I’m going out.”

  “Don’t do this,” Alice said, her voice breaking. “Don’t shut me out.”

  I raked a hand roughly through my hair.

  “You… We aren’t going to be together, Alice, so get it out of your mind. This was an easy moment of weakness, but it’s not gonna happen again.”

  Her eyes filled with tears, and I forced myself to walk away, grabbing my shirt off the living room floor angrily.

  I didn’t want to hurt her like this, but it was the only way to get her to hate me. If she hated me, she wouldn’t have any problems staying away, and that was what I needed her to do.

  Because if she didn’t, I would cave at some point, and she would get hurt in the process. More than she already had.

  Walking out of the apartment, I jogged down the stairs and reached into Fox’s truck, finding the pack of cigarettes he had in his console. They were Jack’s brand, and I knocked one out, putting it up to my lips.

  But I was unable to fire it up. I was being a fucking coward.

  “Shit!” I muttered, flicking the cigarette onto the ground.

  Someone should kick my ass for what I had just done to Alice. In her state, it was the last thing she needed.

  My cell buzzed in my pocket, and I fished it out, holding it up to my ear.

  “Yeah.”

  “Dude, I saw the house. You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I told Andrew, glad that he sounded halfway normal. I couldn’t deal with his issues too right now. “Where are you at?”

  “I’m hanging around, staying out of the way,” he answered. “Where are you at?”

  “Home,” I forced out. “Listen, if you hear any Cazadores boasting about the attack, let me know. There’s gonna be hell to pay for them.”

  “Got it,” Andrew said. “You have her?”

  “Yeah,” I answered, knowing who he meant. “I got
her. Keep your ears open and your mind fucking clear, alright?”