Guardian Read online

  I back peddled carefully as he advanced, opening my mouth to scream, before something clamped down on it and my senses were awash with the smell of unwashed body and marijuana.

  “Now, now, let’s not cause a scene. Juan here would love to gut a few and leave them on the sidewalk.”

  I gasped as he yanked me hard against him, all of my things falling from my arms and onto the ground.

  “Come on now, nice and easy, and we won’t hurt you.”

  Why were they taking me? Surely they had the wrong person. I had nothing, knew nobody of importance.

  This could not be happening!

  Juan walked toward us as I started to pull away from my captor, my breathing starting to become shallow. Oh no, no, I could not freak out right now!

  “Come on, bitch,” he said, dragging me backward across the sidewalk.

  Frantically, I looked for someone, anyone, my pulse pounding in my ears. I had been here many times before, consumed by this crushing feeling, as something else overtook my body and paralyzed me from the inside out. I started to pant, kicking my feet and flailing my arms in an effort to get away from what was triggering my panic attack.

  Any second now, my throat was going to close up, and I was going to pass out, at the mercy of those… those criminals. I had to fight back, but I couldn’t get to that point.

  But my body was already starting to fail me. I swung wildly as I heard a door open in the dark recesses of my mind, both men talking in Spanish as they struggled to push me into the abyss that would seal my fate forever.

  I was going to die. No one was going to be there to take care of my mother. No one, save Nat, would even miss me.

  The dismal thought caused tears to prick my eyelids, my throat starting to close from the overwhelming panic that was consuming my body. My lids started to become heavy. I was pushed hard onto the steel bed of the truck, the jarring motion causing me to cry out. My brain told me I should move, fight back, but I couldn’t. All I could do was draw my knees to my chest and sob, tears rolling down my cheeks in waves.

  This was the end of my life

  My sobs came in gasps now. The walls of the truck were starting to fade, and the dull roar in my ears was blocking out any sounds that might be of help to me.

  I was going to die.

  “Hey! Hey, you got to look at me!”

  A voice with a lilting Irish brogue tore through my thoughts, fighting through the layer of fog that was the panic attack. I felt a strong shake on my shoulder, unable to do anything but look at the culprit, staring into the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.

  “Look at me! You are safe. What’s your name? Say something!”

  My mind struggled to form the words. When I was in a full panic attack, my brain and my body were at a disconnect, unable to help each other out.

  “Shit!”

  The hand rubbed at my shoulder lightly, and his handsome face became clearer, a note of sympathy in his eyes now.

  “Ná bíodh imní ort gach rud a bheith ceart go leor. Do you hear me? Everything is going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

  The words were oddly soothing, and I gasped as he picked me up, cradling me against his chest. I wanted to fight him, to show him that I could stand on my own two feet, but my limbs were so heavy.

  “Home,” I finally forced out, my own voice foreign to my ears.

  My hand clenched at his shirt, the pleasant smell of his cologne wafting over me. Of course, I would catch the eye of a sexy man this way.

  A dangerously sexy man.

  “I got you,” he repeated softly as the sun hit my eyes, causing me to close them. “I got you. You’re safe.”

  I believed him.

  Despite my size, he had no problems carrying me, my face buried in his shirt. I didn’t want to see, I didn’t want to feel.

  I just wanted to be normal.

  My skin tingled, and my breathing started to ease somewhat, but I couldn’t control the shaking. He must have felt it for he held me closer, the warmth from his body seeping into me.

  “Home,” I whispered again.

  I just wanted to go home.

  Chapter Three

  Derrek

  I strode to my bike, a thousand emotions running through my mind. I didn’t know who this girl in my arms was, but one thing was for damn sure, she was a mess. Her shaking had not stopped, the silent tears that streaked her cheeks tearing at my heart.

  After two weeks of watching her mundane routine, I felt this tug toward her, this need to protect her.

  “What the hell?” Andrew asked I walked toward the parking lot, my angry strides causing him to run to catch up. “What happened back there? Is that our mark? Shit, man, what is going on?”

  “I’m taking your truck,” I ground out, realizing she wasn’t well enough to ride my bike. “You call it in, clean up this shit before the cops get here.”

  “Clean up what?” he questioned as I reached his truck. “Where are you taking her? The clubhouse?”

  My jaw ticked as I got the door opened and carefully positioned her inside, sliding the seat belt around her as she buried her face in the seat, refusing to look at me. That was the plan after all. We had been given strict guidance on what to do if our marks were compromised.

  And what to do with the persons who tried to take them out. My knuckles still throbbed from the beating I had given both Cazadores, and I wanted to go back and gut them for what they had done to her.

  Let the Legion handle the fuckers. I wasn’t about to leave this woman for any reason.

  Andrew grabbed my shoulder and spun me around, confusion and anger in his expression.

  “What the hell are you doing, Derrek?”

  I pushed him away, shutting the door so she wouldn’t be witness to what was going to happen next.

  “She wants to go home. I’m taking her the fuck home.”

  “But… But…” he started as I rounded the truck. “We got orders.”

  I turned, breathing in and out a few times to calm my nerves. It had been quite some time since I had felt this sort of emotion.

  “Listen, I’m taking her to her apartment. If you feel the need to tell the Legion, then so be it, but she ain’t in any shape to be around a shit-ton of people right now, got it?”

  Andrew swallowed, looking at the girl in his truck.

  “Yeah, sure, whatever. I’ll take care of it.”

  I gave him a nod, handing him the keys to my bike.

  “Don’t wreck my bike, fucker.”

  Andrew gave me a slight grin.

  “I won’t.”

  I climbed in the truck and started the engine, hesitantly glancing over at my passenger. She was turned away from me, but I could still see the shake of her hands as she gripped them together tightly.

  Something was wrong.

  This was more than just shock over what had just happened. I had seen shock before.

  This was something much worse.

  “Hang in there, darling,” I said softly, keeping my voice low so that I wouldn’t startle her. “I’ll get you home.”

  She was quiet the rest of the way to her apartment, not even questioning me as to how I knew where to go, nor did she protest when I bodily picked her up out of the truck and carried her to her front door.

  “I need the keys, darling,” I said quietly. “I would hate to kick in this door.”

  “Please, put me down.”

  They were the first words she had uttered since I had picked her up out of the truck. I did as she asked, making sure she was steady enough on her feet before I stepped back. I was unsure of what to do as she fumbled in her purse for her keys, clearly in shock.

  The sight caused my heart to squeeze painfully in my chest, and I stepped forward again, holding out my hand.

  “I’ll do it.”

  She dropped the keys in my hand, and I got the door open, allowing her to step inside first before following. The apartment was small, but tidy, with nothing crazy or out of the ord
inary about it.

  Just like her.

  I watched as she dropped her purse and the bag on the counter, nearly running to catch her as she threatened to fall to the floor. Scooping her up against my chest, I walked over to the couch, laying her on it. Her eyes were wide behind her glasses, her face pale as death, as I knelt beside her, smoothing her hair out of her face.

  “You are going to be fine,” I repeated softly, watching her eyes to see if my words were registering at all.

  She looked scared shitless.

  “What can I do to help?”

  Finally, she blinked behind the thick-rimmed glasses, her brown eyes watching me intently.

  “Why are you here?” she finally said in a small voice.

  “I’m here to help,” I answered honestly, not quite sure why I was still here.

  She was my mark, which meant I was responsible for her, and I would be an asshole to just up and leave now that I had gotten her in here, where she felt safe.

  “I’m Derrek McMurray.”

  “The bar owner,” she answered, surprising me as she pushed up to a sitting position. “Nat and Fox are friends of mine.”

  “Don’t believe anything that fucker says,” I said.

  Oh, hell! If Fox had been spouting off how he truly felt, she was never going to trust me.

  She shook her head, reaching back to remove her hair from the tight bun I knew she favored.

  “He hasn’t. I mean, he has only said nice things about you.”

  I chuckled.

  “Darling, you don’t have to lie. Just know I do have respect for the fucker.”

  The smile didn’t reach her lips, and I sighed inwardly.

  “Tell me what I can do to help you. You seem pretty shaken up.”

  She sighed.

  “I’m Alice, and I don’t understand why you are here.”

  I gave her a shrug.

  “Yeah, me neither, darling. I was just told to keep an eye out for you, and that is what I am doing.”

  Alice looked at me, and I felt the sucker punch to my gut as I took her in – really took her in – for the first time. What I had thought were her plain looks were actually as sexy as hell with those glasses on, her hair down around her shoulders in thick waves. My eyes traveled down to the oversized shirt she was wearing, her legs covered in those damn leggings’ women favored these days, and I couldn’t help but wonder what other secrets she was hiding behind the bulky clothing.

  I had held her in my arms. She wasn’t skin and bones, but she sure as hell wasn’t as big as she portrayed herself to be.

  “My meds. I think I need to lie down.”

  Snapping out of my thoughts, I stood.

  “Tell me where they are at, and I will get them for you.”

  “The bathroom cabinet,” she said quietly, rubbing a hand over her face. “God my head hurts.”

  I walked through the only other door in the apartment, finding her bedroom and the adjoining bathroom in question.

  Everything was neat and orderly, making my own apartment look like a hoarder’s dream. I located the bottles, noting that they were meds for anxiety.

  Now I understood why she had freaked out. I mean, anyone would have had a moment of panic, but the way she had reacted was more like she had shut down completely, pulling inside herself.

  Damn, that was rough.

  Gripping the bottles, I walked back into the living room, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge before kneeling beside her once more.

  “Here,” I said, handing her the bottles. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

  She took the lid off and shook out a few pills, popping them in her mouth.

  “It’s fine. I’m used to it. I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

  There was a hitch in her voice, and I wanted to chase it away.

  “Don’t apologize. We all have our quirks about us.”

  She took a swallow of the water before handing it back to me, arching a brow.

  “I’m sure you’re perfect.”

  “Darling, no one is perfect,” I answered, grabbing the blanket from the edge of the couch and draping it over her. “Get some rest. We will talk later.”

  Alice stared at me for a moment, before removing her glasses, placing them on the table before her.

  “I… You don’t have to stay.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I assured her with a grin.

  She blew out a breath and closed her eyes, effectively shutting me out. I watched her for a moment, wondering what her deal was. What did she have that had the Legion so interested in her?

  She seemed like a normal – well, slightly normal – woman.

  Running a hand through my hair, I set the bottles on the counter and leaned against it, hoping that Andrew had done what I had instructed him to do. I would likely get a call from Jack, about disobeying his orders, but I didn’t fucking care.

  If had been me who had been attacked, the last thing I would want to do was be around people I didn’t know, wondering if they were scrutinizing every little thing I was doing.

  Hell, I was already living in that damn bubble.

  I looked over at Alice, whose soft snores were filling the air, and couldn’t help but grin. At least she was sleeping soundly. What was it like to be her during one of those attacks? I would hate to know I could lose control over my own body like that.

  Two tawny colored eyes peered at me over the top of the couch, and I frowned as I realized that Alice had a damn cat.

  I hated cats. They were demanding, selfish creatures. I was more of a dog-lover myself.

  “I bet you are wondering what happened.”

  The cat continued to stare at me, twitching its tail.

  “You hungry?” I asked instead, seeing the empty food bowl. “I can handle that, but leave your mistress alone. She needs her beauty sleep.”

  The cat meowed, as if it knew what I was saying, and I turned to the kitchen.

  Damn needy creatures.

  One thing was for sure, I wasn’t leaving Alice alone, not after she had been attacked, singled out when there were others that could easily have been chosen. There was something about her that I hadn’t been told about.

  Something I would be asking at the first opportunity.

  Chapter Four

  Alice

  I awoke to a dark apartment; the only sounds were of the fridge running in the background.

  And a man snoring.

  Sitting bolt upright, I shook off the last vestiges of the medication, hating the way it made me feel. For eight years I had suffered with extreme anxiety and panic attacks, taking medication to keep them at least moderately at bay. As long as I didn’t get overly excited, I could usually control them.

  But today did classify as over-excited, and my body had shut down before I could get a handle on it. If it hadn’t been for Derrek…

  Derrek. Oh, god! How embarrassing, to have him be the one to rescue me. He didn’t realize it, but we had met before—once, that was—and I had thought him the sexiest man in the room. At the time, there had been no shortage of beautiful women in the room, and he had mingled easily with most of them, not seeing me in the corner, hiding.

  I hated crowds. Just the thought of being in a crowd started to flare up my anxiety, setting me immediately looking for escape routes if I got too uncomfortable.

  But it was hard to forget a man like Derrek. An easy grin, a good-looking body, that wild curly hair that he was forever combing back with his hand.

  And he was in my living room.

  Blowing out a breath, I looked for the source of the snore, nearly giggling aloud as I realized that Derrek was sprawled in the chair.

  With Chester laying on his chest, looking quite the happy kitty.

  Derrek must have fed him. Chester was all about some alone-time, unless there was food in the works, and then he was your best friend.

  “Traitor,” I said softly as I pushed the blanket off me.

  My bo
dy was only slightly stiff, most likely from being thrown into the truck, but otherwise I was alright.

  Well, except my mind. My mind was forever screwed up.