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I stood, stretching the kinks out of my body as I watched Derrek with one untrusting eye. It had been too convenient that he had been able to rescue me, confessing that someone had wanted him to watch out for me. Was it Nat? Was it my relationship with Nat and Fox that had these Cazadores going after me?

  I wasn’t anything special; I had no secrets I could give them. They would have been sorely disappointed if they had succeeded, especially if they had been after some sort of secret to bowl over the Legion.

  I didn’t know anything.

  Walking cautiously over to Derrek, I ignored Chester’s meow as I studied the man that was currently in my apartment. He looked less threatening when he slept, his face relaxed, the long, thin scar that ran from hairline to lip less menacing. That was new, something he hadn’t had the last time I had seen him.

  But it didn’t take away from his sexiness. If nothing else, it added to it.

  I allowed myself to remember the way he had cradled me against his chest, whispering to me words that I didn’t know the meaning of. For a brief moment, I had felt safe, secure.

  Loved.

  Snorting, I walked toward the kitchen, careful not to make a whole lot of noise. Loved. That was an emotion I didn’t feel very often. Of course, my mom said that she loved me, but half of the time, she didn’t know who she was, much less what year it was. I knew she knew me, and knew me as her daughter, but what emotions did she feel?

  And Nat... Nat loved me as a friend, I was certain about that. But her love was different than the kind I was thinking about.

  I… Well, I wanted love like she and Fox had. It was impossible, of course. I was broken. No man would want to put up with random panic attacks, so I just… Well, I just stayed away from everyone.

  Looking at the clock on the stove, I noted that it was well after ten. What time had I left the college? Five? Six? I couldn’t remember.

  But I was starving and imagined Derrek could use a good meal as well. I wanted to thank him for the rescue, no matter why he might be looking after me.

  Then he had to go. I couldn’t think around him, and the last thing I wanted him to do was follow me around, noting every move of my boring-ass life. All I did was eat, sleep, and study. I wasn’t an exciting person and definitely not the type of girl I imagined Derrek would be interested in.

  Opening the fridge, I located a carton of eggs and some cheese. I could at least make a mean scrambled eggs and toast combo for him.

  It wasn’t until I had the eggs frying up that Derrek started to rustle around behind me.

  “I think your cat thinks I’m a piece of furniture.”

  “You fed him,” I said simply, transferring the eggs onto the waiting plates. “He’s attached to you now.”

  “Great,” he sighed as I turned around, handing him a plate. “Thanks. You didn’t have to do this.”

  “Sure, I did,” I answered, attempting not to notice how cute he was, his hair falling about his face. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

  He grinned as he set the plate on the counter, reaching for the fork.

  “It’s fine. I normally only sleep a few hours a night. The bar life… You don’t get much of a chance to sleep a full night anyway.”

  I slid my plate on the counter and took a bite of the eggs. I didn’t want to ask him what his life was like, not wanting to get attached to him in any way, shape, or form.

  I couldn’t. It would only end in heartbreak.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Derrek asked after a moment, his plate now empty.

  I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell him to leave, so that my life could be back to normal. I wanted to push away these feelings of attraction toward him and crawl back into myself.

  “Okay.”

  “Other than Nat and Fox, you don’t know anything else about the Legion?”

  I shook my head, inwardly glad that it hadn’t been a question about my disorder.

  “No, I don’t understand this. Do you think it has to do with my relationship with them?”

  “I’m not sure,” Derrek replied, handing over his empty plate. “But I intend to find out.”

  “Good,” I answered, dumping both plates into the sink. “You will tell me when you do, won’t you?”

  “Sure, darling,” Derrek drawled, his accent sending a shiver down my spine.

  No wonder the women were crazy about him. With that accent, he could talk his way into anything.

  “Maybe I should be asking for something in return.”

  I turned, eyeing him, my stomach fluttering uncontrollably at his sexy grin.

  “What are you talking about?”

  He stepped around the counter, effectively trapping me between the wall and his hard body.

  “I did save your life today. Surely a guy can ask for some sort of payment.”

  He wanted payment.

  “I don’t have any money.”

  He took a step closer, and I tamped down a sudden rush of desire.

  “I don’t want money. In fact, what I want is very simple.”

  What did he want? There was an intensity in his eyes, one that had my heart racing inside my chest. Surely not. Was it because I was just convenient, at the right place at the right time? That had to be it.

  Oh God, I couldn’t do this.

  Something must have crossed my face, for his grin slipped, and he took a few steps back.

  “I apologize. I shouldn’t have approached you like this.”

  There was the pity. I hated pity. I didn’t want to see it on his face, in his eyes. I already hated that he had seen me at my worst.

  Drawing in a breath, I took the step toward him.

  “What do you want?”

  His eyes searched mine before his grin reappeared.

  “I was gonna ask for a kiss.”

  A kiss. To some that was an easy thing to give. A mere pucker of the lips, a tender brush, a hot, heated affair. Most would be able to handle any of them.

  But for me, I didn’t know how to handle any of them. It was embarrassing to admit that I had never been kissed. Yeah, like that movie, except worse.

  I was a real live human being who shied away from anything that could be remotely construed as feelings, and that included kissing. I was so afraid that I would get too worked up, bring on an attack, and embarrass myself. So, I had stayed away from any relationships.

  And now, I had this gorgeous guy in front of me, wanting something so simple in his mind and yet so complex in mine.

  “Alice?”

  Snapping back to the present, I saw the concern in his expression.

  “Just a kiss.”

  “Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” he muttered, raking back his hair.

  Oh no, I wasn’t going to let him think I was some sort of weirdo, unable to handle this. Reaching for his shirt, I grabbed it and propelled myself forward, our lips colliding in the briefest of kisses.

  It was horrible to say the least.

  Derrek’s arms shot out and held me in place as I tried to back away, forcing me to meet his eyes. I expected to see laughter or pity in his gaze, but instead I only saw curiosity.

  “You’ve never been kissed before, have you?” he asked softly, his accent thick.

  “Just let me go,” I replied, embarrassed that I had even attempted to fool him.

  His grip only tightened.

  “There’s an art to kissing,” he said, ignoring my request. “Some people like to take their time, and some like to hurry up and get to the other shit that follows. Me? I’m a lazy kisser.”

  My breath caught as he pulled me close, taking one of his hands to cup my chin.

  “It’s all about the angle,” he continued, as if he had all day to coach me through the finer points of kissing. “Too high and you are straining. Too low and it’s like kissing your own chin.”

  His fingers were warm on my chin as he tilted my face, leaning down. My eyes fluttered closed, and I forgot to breathe as his lips brushed over mine, a soft touch that caused sp
arks to fire off in my brain.

  “You see?” he whispered against my lips. “Slow is much better.”

  I couldn’t help but agree. Oh, my! How did anyone survive this sort of kiss? My entire body ached for more, my hands clenched in his shirt until I felt like I could tear it apart with my fingers at the anticipation. Vaguely, I thought about begging, wanting to learn more about this wonderful thing I had denied myself all my life, but when he brushed over my lips again, all I could let out was a moan.

  This was lovely.

  His hand trailed from my chin to my cheek, one of his fingers rubbing over my skin lightly as he nibbled on my lower lip.

  “You taste sweet Alice,” he said lightly, his hand sliding to bury in my hair. “Like strawberries.”

  I wanted to laugh aloud. Now I knew he was lying. I probably tasted like the eggs I had just consumed.

  “You are wondering what’s next,” he said bluntly, his lips trailing down my jaw line, shivers trailing in their wake. “And I would love to show you.”

  I knew what he meant. Was I willing to put it all out there, let him take me away and help me forget, if only for a few minutes?

  I could have chosen a worse partner, but the thought of having Derrek as my first… Well, it was all almost too much to bear.

  I wanted him all over me.

  Chapter Five

  Derrek

  She was killing me.

  I nibbled on Alice’s soft skin, my cock raging hard against my jeans, wanting to be released. Had Alice never been involved with anyone before? Clearly so, if she had never kissed anyone. My thoughts kept on drifting to why she would deny herself so.

  But I had a thought as to why.

  Fuck, that meant she was all mine.

  Alice’s breath caught as I wandered my lips back over hers, forcing myself to take my time with her. If I was to be her first, then I wanted her to remember it in a good light, a fond memory that would keep a smile on her face.

  “Don’t think,” I said as my other hand roamed down her spine. “If you think, you forget to feel. Just close your eyes and feel, Alice.”

  She murmured something unintelligible, and I deepened the kiss, tugging and pulling on her lips lightly until she started to kiss me back. Her hands were clenched tightly in my shirt, and I couldn’t wait until they were gripping my hair, my arms, wherever the hell she wanted to grip.

  I was going to be her playground, and she was going to be mine tonight. Fuck the Cazadores. Fuck her anxiety issues. It was going to be about me and her.

  My hand snuck around to her neck, and I cupped it lightly, waiting for the right moment to sweep into her mouth with my tongue, but not a minute too soon. I had to be careful with Alice, letting her drive what we did tonight.

  But I sure as hell wasn’t gonna leave.

  “What the fuck?”

  Alice tore from my grasp as I turned toward the doorway, seeing a familiar figure there.

  Shit.

  Jack Carry stood in the doorway, with a slightly amused Fox Lawrence flanking his left side, his arms crossed over his chest. Fox was Jack’s second-in-command, and we had a love-hate relationship, though that had softened since I had helped him find his woman a few months before.

  Still, we were far from being best friends.

  “Jack,” I announced, pushing Alice behind me. “What the hell?”

  Jack stalked in, his eyes peering at the woman behind me, currently shaking like a leaf. I wanted to curse the old man out for undoing everything I had accomplished with his arrival.

  “I got your message from that asshole drug-friend of yours. Your mark wasn’t the only one that was hit.”

  I swallowed.

  “Jack I… She needed to come home. I couldn’t take her to the clubhouse.”

  I would take the flack for it, but this was where Alice needed to be.

  Jack arched a brow.

  “So, you could put your paws all over her, I guess?”

  Fox burst into laughter, and I flushed, feeling Alice grip my arm tightly.

  “That was… Well…”

  I didn’t have an answer for what I had just been doing with Alice.

  Jack shot Fox a look, and he immediately stopped, winking at me in the process. He was enjoying the fact that I was squirming under Jack’s glare for once.

  “This isn’t about the damn clubhouse,” he growled. “She’s my kid.”

  Alice squeaked behind me, and I felt all the blood drain from my face, even seeing the same mirrored look on Fox’s face. Alice? Jack’s daughter? Jack was married to a woman, Sarah, who was as tough as nails.

  Alice looked nothing like her.

  “She’s mine,” he repeated, something crossing his face.

  Alice’s grip loosened form my arm, and I turned in time to catch her as she fainted, cursing as I scooped her against my chest yet again. This was not what I had imagined when I wanted to get her in my arms again.

  “Shit!” Fox swore as I walked to the couch, laying her down carefully before squatting next to her, checking her pulse. “Is she okay?”

  “She’s been through shit today,” I growled, relief flooding through my veins as her strong, steady pulse bounded against my fingers. “And now you want to dump this shit on her?”

  “Fuck!” Jack swore, collapsing into the chair. “I didn’t mean... Hell, I just… I saw you kissing her, and I went postal.”

  I straightened, turning to face the Legion’s current president. After my da died, Jack had supported me in a fatherly sense the best he could, taking me under his wing and showing me everything I needed to know about growing into a man. More than once he had offered his second-in-command spot, but Fox was far better suited than I was to be tied down like that.

  Right now, though, I wanted to kill him.

  “What did you think was gonna happen? Hell, man, I didn’t know she was your daughter.”

  “Neither did I,” Fox admitted, still looking pale. “I thought we were watching her because of Nat.”

  “No,” Jack said quietly, lacing his fingers together in front of him. “Hell, I shouldn’t have told her. She’s much better off not knowing, but I didn’t have a choice.”

  “Why?” I asked, going on alert. “Who found out?”

  Jack let out a breath, looking older all of a sudden.

  “Nieto found out. Seems his sister works at the hospital, in the medical records department. He got her to do some digging on all of my known associates, and… Hell, the damn woman put my name on the birth certificate.”

  Alice was in serious danger. The thought was like a sucker punch to the gut as I thought of the timid, shy woman who had kissed me like she had been starving, of how vulnerable she was when she was having an attack.

  “Why now? Why didn’t you tell her before then?”

  Jack arched a brow.

  “What’s it to you, Derrek?”

  I pointed to her prone form on the couch.

  “She is what it is to me.”

  “Me too,” Fox added, looking at his mentor as if he had never seen him before. “She’s Nat’s best friend, and I don’t want to get my ass chewed out for you hurting her.”

  “It’s not like that,” Jack sighed, wiping a hand over his face. “I didn’t want to hurt her. Hell, I didn’t even want her to know who I was, for what it might bring to her life. Her mom and I dated a few months, and she wound up pregnant. I told her I would take care of the kid for her. Hell, I even offered to marry her, but she turned me down. So, I sent money, every month. She told me to stay away. So, I did.”

  I heard the regret in his voice and sighed, knowing I couldn’t be mad about that. He had honored her mother’s wishes and still supported a kid he hadn’t seen before.

  “I thought she would be safe without me in her life,” he continued, emotion in his words as he glanced at Alice. “I thought I could keep something good and decent in my life. Seems that secrets don’t stay secrets forever.”

  That was an understatem
ent.

  “What now?” I asked, looking at the woman who had turned my life upside down in a matter of hours.

  Hell, I had gone from seeing her as a job to seeing her as a woman I wanted to fuck. And that had nothing to do with the fact that I would be her first. I was attracted to plain, studious Alice, more so than I had to anyone in quite some time.